I work with my narcissist ex and am simply tired of not gett

I work with my narcissist ex and am simply tired of not getting over him yet. It's been a month. Yesterday he was flirting with a woman at the office right under my nose. At one point I was someone he adored, loved, never wanted to be without, would do anything for, wanted to spend the rest of his life with. How quickly people forget the bullshit they feed you and then have the nerve to get upset when you call them out on it.
Why would a man do that? Why would he flirt with someone while I watch, is he not aware how cruel and belittling that is to someone that he was intimate with, lived with, and works with, his ex?
I'm tired of just giving them a label. He needs to be exposed for a despicable person that he is.

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 3
[2770]
Dec 7

I'm sorry you are having a difficult time. It sounds like you have come a long way though.
Congratulations! :) It takes time! Something happened today that upset me greatly, not the
ex narc, but in my 3D world.. a few narcs who I have to deal with on occasion.. They are
rude, short with me, condescending.. as if any question I may have of them, is bothering them,
their time..no matter how pertinent & of concern it is to me. I do not go out of my way to
cause a person trouble.. If I have some specific issue .. I try to be to the point & seek help.
OK so.. I get talked down to, etc...
I started doing this after the narc.. I think of Dante's Inferno.. I place people in my mind
at these levels.. when totally pissed off I will place them at a low place in my mind..
Actually the dimensional thoughts opened up with the narc, afterwards more so consciously..
I picture like a 10 D but then when being treated like dirt.. then I picture them in the pit
and Dante's Inferno gives some options there.
I'm being kind of silly, I know you are hurting.. They do not FEEL.. they do not FEEL.
so it's like trying to make sense of someone when they don't FEEL & so why would we
even care. If I back away and calm down I just realize, if /when dealing with a narc,
make it completely matter of fact... If I have something more in my heart/mind/soul,
then I will not expect they would have this at least in any connection with them...
I go into a situation expecting to have some emotional interaction with a human not
just either treated like scum .. but there are a lot of narcs who that is how they work it.
When dealing with a narc go on autopilot, pretend you are a robot.. or like I did today,
I recalled Dante's Inferno and wondered what level of H they would end up in.
I'll have to ask God's forgiveness but seriously it's like why waste time on a FEELING when
they don't feel.
Hang in there!
To expound on this, I do think there will be narcs in heaven, but right now.. when they .. the narcs are doing their lower dimensional actions.. which are geared to hurt..
detach, move away from... do not get caught up in it.
It's like they go from this higher dimension when seeking supply to a lower dimension
when discard... they do the dimensional stuff for effect too, meaning.. don't connect with them
if they are lower dimension. I have to be around numbers of lower level narcs in my
day to day contacts, not every day but often enough.. it is when it's extreme with them,
I am left bewildered and today was like that for me..
Try not to attach to the lower dimensions when they express that. It is like being in their personal hell. I say, leave the area, grey rock, picture them in the pit as they are acting like they are in.. anything to deflect the pain as this.. then go back to your own higher dimension..
:)

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[1980]
Dec 7

He is very aware how cruel and belittling it is to flirt with someone in your face that’s why he does it. Don’t give him the satisfaction. Start avoiding him as much as possible. I work with my ex narc too and two days after we broke up he started parading his new girl out co worker in front of my face. Taking her out to the parking lot by my car to make out whole nine yards. I changed up my schedule was never put yhere for break or lunch when he thought I would be, avoided his desk or other co workers that would potentially talk to him or about him. This sucks so bad! I feel awful for you because seeing them together was like taking a bullet. Just know, NO He doesn’t treat her better or at least not for very long, NO he won’t magically change because of any new girl or ever for that matter and NO you absolutely should not say or do anything that makes him think at all that he’s getting to you with this childish crazy making behavior. Hold your head high when you walk by. Don’t even look at him or them together. If you can avoid him, do at all costs even if you have to switch up your schedule for a bit. Let him go mess up someone else’s life while you fight like hell to heal yours. Hugs to you lady because I KNOW for real how this feels. As far as healing after a month, it takes time love. More time than if it were a normal relationship because there was nothing normal about him. Healing from abuse is so much harder than healing from a normal breakup. Be kind to yourself, take care of YOU and healing will begin slowly and gradually increase. Be patient with yourself and know that are gonna be just fine!

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[485]
Dec 7

Thank you both very much.
Allison, how long into your recovery from your ex? I am constantly going through different emotions. Some days I feel like it's getting better however for the past week all I do is cry. I avoid him at all costs at work. I park and enter the office opposite of him. I keep my office door closed majority of the day or open and use headphones for music or podcasts. He has tried many times to talk to me, small talk, with good morning, and I refuse to respond to him. We are having a holiday party this Saturday. He had cheated on his ex wife with another coworker (I didn't know any of this until couple of months prior to being dumped), and I have to say, I am nervous about controlling my emotions if he brings her. I am having a very difficult time controlling my emotions at work too. I don't cry, I keep that for when I get home. I feel so broken. I feel like I have this massive secret about who he truly is and no one knows. In turn they pity me for the breakup unaware of the psychological and emotional abuse he put me through.
How do you do It?

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