I was dating a woman for about 6 months, she was love bombin

I was dating a woman for about 6 months, she was love bombing (I didn't know that's what it was called at the time) me crazy and wanted to jump into a relationship right away. This is during covid of course so our courtship was spent mostly at her house, making dinners, talking, drinking wine and having crazy sex. She was all about me and I could do no wrong, she said she was in love and even got upset when I wanted to take things slower. Then we went to Mexico for Xmas and it was like as soon as we stepped off the plane this element of needing to be in control kicked in (that I hadn't seen before cause we were always at her place of course, where she runs the show) with directions, plans, etc... We met up with other friends she didn't know and after a few days she said she was feeling insecure and uncomfortable but couldn't elaborate why, I tried to smooth things over by us just going to do our own thing but quickly realized she needed to control everything. Things got worse by the end of the trip and we had a couple of fights, but nothing major IMO (she used the fact I got irritated against me of course). We got back to NYC and communication started to taper off, I reached out to her saying let's just talk things over and move forward, she said that we were still in a good place she was just stressed with work and wouldn't address anything, she just pretended like everything was fine. We hung out a couple of times which were fine but she started saying weird disrespectful things (devaluing), then we didn't see each other for a couple of weeks as she went out of town for work, she got back and out of nowhere (to me) she moved from another borough to my borough 2 blocks from my house, she invited me over to show of her fancy new place then dumped me with no good explanation why. My mom died last year on top of the crazy year we've all had so that end of the year trip was super important to me to blow off some steam and relax a bit, this was my plan even before we started dating. Essentially she ruined the trip, pretended everything was fine then dumped me for standing up for myself. She likes to compete so I guess she "won". Now she lives 2 blocks away and I've been discarded like it was nothing, she never acknowledged her role in ruining the trip or said sorry. Now I'm just working from home alone and feeling like ****. I don't know if she's a narcissist but it definitely seems like I got love bombed, devalued, discarded, mirrored (she said my neighborhood was cooler) and felt the wrath of someone's narcissistic injury.

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Feb 24

@kelly72 Yeah, and she moved to my most frequented intersection, where I get coffee, do laundry, get groceries. When I think about it it's just crazy. I'm going to have to walk in the other direction and just do my errands a little further! I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hoping she contacted me the last few days but I'm starting to see that it's just better to let go.

Feb 24

@scarlettRain True indeed! Thank you for your feedback

Feb 25

@LeeS. yes, I think your early trip was a blessing in disguise - well done for seeing it but you must also act on it.

For me, I had never heard of narcissism so I did not know how to read the signs. I had an early trip with my narc where "red flags" were popping up and I ignored them - took 12 years of my life and much loss and suffering to escape. I am still picking up the pieces 3 years later.

Go NO-CONTACT and don't let her back in. Look up "Narcissists and Hoovering" on Youtube so you can understand how they use this tactic so you can best protect yourself. I left him 3 times and got "hoovered" before I finally went NO-CONTACT and escaped for good.

Good luck.


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