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I wanted to be able to say that going into 2019 I was finall

I wanted to be able to say that going into 2019 I was finally going to be free and clear of him and the horrible past year. I guess the most that I can say is that at least he is no longer a physical presence in my life. And I guess that is definitely progress. This attempt at recovery has left me feeling completely Bipolar. One minute I am happy and proud of myself, the next I am crying and ashamed of myself for still missing and caring about someone who never existed. I recently made an attempt at trying to date someone else but I just don't have it in me and it scares me because I used to be such a loving person. I wanted company and companionship. Now I just want to spend my time alone. And I can't figure out if I should be concerned or that's a necessary part of healing. I don't want to feel like I am wasting my life. I suppose I should look at this as a breakthrough of some sort and come up with ways for the next year for me to spend my time doing something constructive, even if it is all by myself. Hugs everyone and I wish you all a Happy New Year.

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Dec 31

I started to date, but i would just get dissapointed all the time as i was thinking abouy my ex. I have decided im
Not ready to date anyone yet and need to focus on myself. I hope you have a good new year

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