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I want a second mother... a second family to adopt me and wh

PeppermintSunrise's picture
[6830]

I want a second mother... a second family to adopt me and who will protect me. that sounds like heaven. but i'd end up feeling like an awful daughter because at times my mom doesn't know how bad she is. when i see it, i feel vulnerable for her and then i feel trapped, like i have to stay around for her. but... i just want to feel what its like to feel a mother's love

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[263720]
Oct 10

I think what you're feeling is a normal reaction to what you sense isn't right between you and your mother. We all have that sense of guilt when we feel we have to break ties or maybe lessen them. So for you, maybe it's not about dumping your mother, never seeing her again. It may be that'll never sit well with you. I never completely dumped my narc mother. I accepted there were things she was never capable of doing. She didn't know what love was, that it's freely given rather than used to manipulate. She couldn't take personal responsibility. I have to give her credit for the fact she tried to get help for her mental imbalance. But I also had to accept how my mother was and know what she couldn't give and accept I'd never have her approval or unconditional love. And once I did that it didn't hurt as much to be around her.

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PeppermintSunrise's picture
[6830]
Oct 11

@Scat I've accepted my moms ways as a young girl. Itll bother me always as long as I'm living with her which I cant help at the moment. I never want to dump her I just cant be mentally sane here although I'm trying. I think she'll understand her wrongs more when im not here.

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[263720]
Oct 11

@PeppermintSunrise, I understand Sweets. When you leave, you'll have better opportunities to surround yourself with healthier people. I know for now it is difficult to live with and empathize. : (

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