I think the hardest part of narcissist abuse is the discard.

@TreborH Thank you Trebor...It's a crazy way to live huh?

@Doesitmatter01 It's what they do. They attempt to "ruin" or put a bad memory of themselves onto any occasion. Birthdays, holidays, anything that you will remember forever, they will act out or make a scene or something to insert their own memory in your head. Someone asked me what my favorite memory of my birthday was. I couldn't think of one that didn't have a bad memory with it until i went back to before i met the narc. It is crazy making at its best.
I love your idea of getting him nothing this year... or maybe just a gift card to a store he doesn't care for. tell him to go get himself something... :-) I hope you do it!

@Bop they do a very good job cuz I cant remember 1 good event of any type that I can remember it being a good time would you believe that he acts like a complete spoiled brat on his own bday. I figured it out now that I know. He does that so I pay extra special time on him and do everything in my power to make sure he has a great day. I'm really getting hateful