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I know this is a support page to help get over narc abuse ..

I know this is a support page to help get over narc abuse ... and i can sense irritation as i sound like i want him back ... i just dont feel ready to give up on him right now ... i still feel like i want another round of this just to make sure ... but at the same time .. you guys are the only ones that understand.
hes been silent a week ... he has still kept me on all social media ... and still has relationship status with me on fb . I text him today .. asking if he is willing to talk ... ive ended up appologising ! ( yes i know i shouldnt have ) .. he said he doesng think there is anything to talk about because nothing changes ( i dont change ) ... ivesaid there is stuff we can talk about to try and make this better and asked if he is willing to talk like adults .. and he hasnt given me a yes or a no .
I dont know what he is going to do now ... i dont k ow what to expect from him .... even though we have ended up back together many times before i just dont know what to expect this time which causes my anxiety.
We have two holidays booked this year . NYC in august and a holiday in UK in june

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Apr 17, 2019

I agree with what someone else wrote.. It's not irritation, it's heartbreaking to watch someone else go through this that has "hope". But the flat out plain truth is there.. Is.. No.. Hope. None. He will not change. He will toy with you. Use you. Manipulate you. And he will bail on you. This will NOT have a happy ending. He will not magically change and suddenly turn into a well adjusted caring man. The only thing you are ever going to get out of this is pain and insanity. It's awful and I am sorry that you have had to join this awful group with us. ( Not the people here, mind you, they are wonderful) please take care of yourself.

kelly72's picture
Apr 17, 2019

@Hannah85 Of course it's hard. Anything worth doing is hard. But you have to realize you're worth more than this. When you say NO and stop this, you're saying YES to you. You empower yourself when you take control. The pain is temporary when you take charge. The pain stays as long as you let it. Instead of "It's breaking my heart", click delete and say "you're not breaking MY heart anymore, GOOD-bye Narc!, click!!!"....Put yourself first.

Apr 17, 2019

@kelly72 thanks for stating the obvious. I needed that today. It's a lot easier each day but I can understand why. I've done the same repetitive circle. Now I stick with the NC and each time I see him I get stronger. Hang on tightly to yourself Hannah.


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