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I feel like my world just came a part. I am not sure how t

[305]

I feel like my world just came a part. I am not sure how this works. I found the site while trying to make some sense out of what's going on with me right now. I am in my 40's and have been with my husband since my early 20's and he is a full blown Narc. I can't believe I said that. I am very a shame to admit that I truly thought he was my soulmate. It would appear that he has a spit personality and have been living a double life all these years each time I would suspect that he is cheating he has been telling me that I am crazy and insecure. I feel like a total fool for still being here after all I have discovered. At times I feel totally exhausted from trying to not care. He says that I can't do better than him and in reality it seems like he may be right. He is the only adult relationship l have ever had. I had boyfriend in high school then we met...

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[305]
Sep 23

@Morningview thank you... I am a shame to admit that though i know that is whats coming next the speech...about the other person being his soulmate..
It doesn't stop my heart from beating like it is about to explode. I don't know why because I should not care, I should hate him, I should want this escape, but I am feeling abandoned and it hurts.

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[395]
Sep 23

@hope55 I so understand this! I hope you find some peace :)

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[615]
Sep 23

@hope55 It's perfectly normal to still care, that's what makes you a good person. If you were able to completely shut off your feelings and not care, that's when I would be worried. Even after my wife refused to leave her boyfriend and after i found out all of the gruesome details through snooping, I still cared about her as a person, but the love I thought we had was gone. When someone cheats on you its a reflection on them, not on you. I think the main reason i had so much trouble letting go and moving on initially was because I didn't want to believe my wife was a bad person, I wanted to believe she was a good person who was just making a huge mistake. Unfortunately, i had to come to terms with the fact that I had married a master manipulator, someone who hustled me for years to satisfy her needs, but none of that was my fault. Eventually you'll be in a better place and he'll still be someone who continues to hurt people.

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