I did not realize my partner was a narcissists until very re

I did not realize my partner was a narcissists until very recently. I thought he was just a person who made some bad choices in the past, a temper and very poor emotional IQ. Then I washed my mouth out about his adult, dysfunctional kids and since then I really had to pay the price. I am being punished for speaking the truth. He criticizes everything I do, from the way I wear my hair to where I buy groceries, how I cook, how I talk (too slow, according to him), how I pronounce my own dogs and family's names, how I move...everything and anything. The joke of it all is that I have been involved with a narcissist in the past, studied their behavior and still I did not figure this one out until it was too late. I am not stupid, I have more than one degree and several certificates and diplomas, I lived a very full life and now I find myself isolated and dependent on this crazy person. He had a way of pushing me over the edge and I would forget about acting and reacting correctly and in a civilized manner and said things as they are. Now I concentrate on ignoring most of his comments and answering by answers and/or walking away. The problem is that I do not have an exit right away. We are employed as a couple. I enjoy my work and the life style, it is just him making my life miserable. He treats me like his maid...no, his stupid, uneducated maid. He throws tantrums like a child! For example if I through away a chipped coffee mug which had 'value' to him. Or I plant a tree in the garden without consulting with him first - which I do not want to do because he will a hundred excuses why a tree should not be planted where I want to plant it. He broke a newly planted young tree and told me he saw 'my' dogs doing it. He even distinguishes between his dog and my dogs. He will give his dogs titbits, she gets special food while mine gets grocery store food. He takes 'his' dog on trips and outings with him and then criticizes me when I take a dog with me in the car to go fill up on fuel. So petty! It is hard to believe an adult can behave like this.

show more
Comment
 20
View 17 More Comments
kelly72's picture
(83760)
Oct 11

@HesterM Don't put yourself down for this. You're not dumb. You are caring and have great qualities or he wouldn't have tried to suck you into his web. You just have to untangle and get out. You will. Life will be so much better. You are not stuck. Where there's a will, there is definitely a way.

Reply
(95)
Oct 12

@kelly72 LOL! Wish they could all be removed from society.

Reply
Foundlove's picture
(46935)
Oct 12

So sorry your going through this… very nerve wracking to come to realization your partner is crazy and capable of anything! I think that’s good advice of your therapist though as his goal is to get you worked up, angry, irritated. He won’t be anything other than a selfish child. It’s no use fighting him about anything. Whatever he says doesn’t matter…. Yes he probably will pick up on your indifference to him. Indifference is actually better than reacting because he wants you to react. If you act like you don’t care, that will drive him nuts but be careful as sometimes the narcissist will turn up the abuse to get a reaction out of you. I worry for your safety. I hope you come up with plan soon to get away n keep you and your kids safe. Yes, also narcissists will behave badly over time. They will suck you in and then gradually condition and break you down. It has nothing to do with your intelligence. This doesn’t make you any less intelligent… just means you have heart. You love others despite their treatment back and that is good thing n strength! Just have to choose yourself first lot of time as well! I pray you’ll be safe and get through this situation ok!

show more
Reply
Who Answers?

Where do calls go?

Calls to numbers on a specific treatment center listing will be routed to that treatment center. Additional calls will also be forwarded and returned by one of our treatment partners below.

Calls to any general helpline (non-facility specific 1-8XX numbers) for your visit will be answered by one of our treatment partners, a paid advertiser on supportgroups.com.

  • ARK Behavioral Health

All calls are private and confidential.

Login or Register

You are visiting Support Groups as an anonymous user.

Please consider joining our community and gain access to additional features by

registering or logging into your account