I am feeling intrigued. I always thought that I didn't have

I am feeling intrigued.
I always thought that I didn't have a good sense of humour because I didn't find comedians nor comedy shows funny. In fact, I generally didn’t laugh very much. Recently, I noticed that I laugh, heartily, at so many things and have even posted a few silly videos of myself on my family group, as we are all separated and haven't seen much of each other this year due to COVID restrictions
I think my newly discovered sense of humour comes as a result of my being happier, peaceful and calm in my day to day life having escaped the Narc 2 years, 9 months ago. I realised I have spent much of my life in unhappy, unfulfilling relationships with the 2 Narcs that were husband 1 and 2.
Has anyone else, who is OUT, noticed new things or imagining new things, when you get OUT?

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kelly72's picture
(81970)
Jan 12

I think @preciousgirl hit it just right, "one's self that will NEVER be found because you can never be yourself", YES! In reflection, I looked back at all the times I tried to be myself and I felt SO happy doing that because it was "allowed" in the beginning, during the love bombing-secure the host time. I think that's why we fall for them, they give us those moments to make us feel alive, listened to, admired, all in the pretense of "who we are" so the hooks are in. When the claws retract, we are slowly squashed for being who we are. I can remember specific moments of getting cut-off from speaking, yelled at, squashed like a bug for being the exact person (ME) that I was in the beginning. Suddenly, you are no longer admired for your jokes, happiness, being you is prohibited because you must be controlled, and God help you if you think for yourself or speak your mind. I'm so happy for you that you are feeling this. It is so wonderful to feel alive, enjoy life, and be yourself; SO SO wonderful to be narc-free! Keep being you and keep laughing! Thanks for sharing this, it brought a big warm heart smile!

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(14820)
Jan 13

@kelly72 Wow, exactly my story - in the beginning! I was glorified by him during the lovebombing stage and it felt sooooo good!!
What happens after the lovebombing stage is that, as you say above, "being YOU is prohibited" - that is to say that you have to KILL yourself and DIE to remain in the relationship. The Narc, who has probably already taken over your home, family, friends, and possessions, then moves in to take over your sacred body, thoughts, mind, ideas, value system, beliefs - they are parasities.
Thanks @kelly72 - I LOVE being me and rediscovering more of ME everyday.

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kelly72's picture
(81970)
Jan 13

@preciousgirl You are so on point! Also, so happy for you. I know that lovely feeling and I still enjoy it. It doesn't get old, I promise you that. Keep enjoying life and never be afraid to be YOU. I can't love this enough.

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