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How my covert, narc husband isolated me was not the way you'

[331580]

How my covert, narc husband isolated me was not the way you'd expect. He never told me you can't go to church, but would instead smear me behind the scenes at church. He'd never say I don't want you to be around your writer friends, but instead humiliated me at poetry readings by coming drunk and making fun of the poets that were editing a magazine so then it would sabotage my standing I worked very hard for in the writing community. He never told me not to talk to the neighbors but instead would smear me to them so everyone had a poor impression of who I was and would avoid my greetings. Then I'd never tell him he couldn't see his family, but told him I didn't want to go to his family after how he smeared me to his family. Never kept him from church, but when I was smeared, I no longer wanted to go, etc etc. So then in the end it started to look as though I was the abuser, the one isolating him when it was the opposite. Can anyone relate to this? Has anyone had this sort of experience with a narc where it made you look abusive when you weren't at all but were just trying to avoid their abuse however you could?

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[331580]
Jan 14

@Injustice2011, I know it may be a longshot, and I like your safety plan, by the way; have you looked into some of the parental rights advocacy programs out there. I know what you're up against because my sister had to get her grandson back out of foster care because how corrupt CPS was where her grandson and his parents lived. Thankfully she was able to have his case transferred to a less corrupt CPS county.

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[4175]
Jan 15

@Nanjkm My son also dislikes confrontation as well as criticism. I guess he observed that in me and developed that dislike as well. I had to remind him, along with myself , to not let those dislikes trigger emotions and feelings that make you feel like you are being personally attacked and thus lead to a defensive negative reaction. My older daughter on the other hand is not afraid of confrontation and will speak up and defend herself and others as well. I suspect that she found herself in situations where she felt she had to defend her brother from her dad. I never wished for the kids to have a poor relationship with their father but they do.

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[4175]
Jan 15

@Injustice2011 What you posted really sounds like someone telling your 4 year old what to say by all means. I really question the ability of a 4 year old to even understand a transaction like selling or buying or to even understand money. I pray for you and your childs sake that CPS wisens up.

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