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How do you deal with the negative things your ex narc has sa

How do you deal with the negative things your ex narc has said to you, those things that keep running through your head, that affects your self esteem?

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Aug 12

Yep- I know it's going to be shocking to say, but I already have a seriously addictive personality. It's already my thing, so I know I've got an issue living my life without crutches or distractions or fillers. If I can abuse it, I do- I've been to NA as a teen, I had a big problem then, but don't do any drugs now - I won't even touch prescriptions. I felt that NA & AA actually had the effect of making me want to do drugs even more- it just made it all worse, but it seemed to help a lot of people, so I'm not trying to knock it in general. I was convinced I cured myself because I quit on my own, but what my issue seems to be is that I just keep replacing my addictions. I know other addictive persons know that it's like a hole that never fills- sometimes it's poker, sometimes it's extreme exercising, sometimes it's my work, and right now I fill it with this obsession and (unfortunately) too many cookies! I'm just an addictive, obsessive person- I know I got to this relationship already kind of well, imperfect. I don't know what will truly fill me up, so to speak- or if I just need to find healthier obsessions-which I do sometimes- I'm a hard worker- intense about my work, research, etc- and sometimes I get on some crazy health kick which seems positive. Unlike most people on here, I can't blame him for my obsessions- for other things, YES, but this obsessive problem- I own this one. :)

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justagrrrl82's picture
Aug 12

@gwenn lee I will never understand projection. I mean, I understand they project their bad traits onto us to take it off themselves. But theres no way I could do that to someone and think "ok, I'm good now". You can't just be horrible and then toss it to someone else to clear yourself of wrongdoing. Maybe I just don't get it because I'm not a psycho narc.

Aug 12

@justagrrrl82 They don't know they are doing it. They can't handle what they think of themselves so they throw it out to us. It's really freaky.


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