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Hi. Would love some advice as I don't seem to be able to thi


Hi. Would love some advice as I don't seem to be able to think clearly. I don't know if it's me being sensitive or him treating me badly. In between seeing him, it's usually me who texts first. The last two times it's been 2 and 3 weeks silence till I've then texted first. When he texted back he said he thought I'd gone off him so I felt sorry for him. I just didn't want to text first again as it makes me feel like I'm chasing him.
Another time he suddenly ignored my texts. I had a panic attack and ended up sending another 6 asking him to just let me know if he'd had enough and I'd leave him alone. It took 3 days for him to answer even though I was begging him to answer me. Something I never do usually. He said he'd had a really stressful weekend and it was nothing to do with me. After another week of silence, he suddenly texted me on my other phone which he's never used before. Said want to meet up? He'd sent it at 4pm. Then at 7pm said obviously not! I hadn't got the message as I hadn't been checking that phone. I also have to travel an hour and a half to him so he hadn't given me enough time anyway. He hasn't asked for another day in advance. Is this just me hurting because I'm sensitive or is it not great to treat someone like that? I don't know. I wouldn't ignore someone's text. It's not the first time he's done it either.

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Aug 17

And another reason I'm frequently thinking I'm being paranoid is because I've been out with someone with severe npd before. Not that I'm saying this person has that, but I just cannot believe I've got myself involved with another narcissist??

Aug 17

@Rachelr it happens ...I had 3
And you'd think I should know better but I grew up with a narcissistic mother and was conditioned early on to believe certain things, so I always chose them.

Just remember something, if he hasn't been in a traumatic or life changing event that made him need space, and it's just a power tactic, most likely it's a narcissist. "Normal" people don't just disappear and reappear as they please and ignore requests, especially painful ones from the person they care about.

Blueberries1234's picture
Aug 17

Thats exactly what they do. It's punishment for NOT chasing him. They like to be in control at all times. A normal person wont make you question their intentions, even if they dont text you back you won't feel an anxiety about how they feel about you. Listen to your gut. You feel anxiety for a reason because deep down you probably know that this isnt a true connection, it's you being insecure of being unwanted or not wanting ti be misunderstood... this person probably seems wonderful. But this comes from a lack mentality. The truth is you can find a million people to date. You just think you cant. Started using tinder and realized you dont have to settle. People arent disposable, but this guy is. Anyone who makes you WONDER about their feelings for you isnt worth your time.


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