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Hi, I'm trying to figure out if my MIL is a narcissist. She

Hi, I'm trying to figure out if my MIL is a narcissist. She definitely lacks empathy and is self centered but also capable of generosity and never overtly negative towards me (but can be very hard on my spouse, her son) The thing that has really thrown me more than anything else is an incident that happened earlier this summer. My 4 year old lost consciousness on the way to hospital with suspected pneumonia. I had to call 911 and when we got him to hospital he was very ill, having trouble breathing, requiring lots of oxygen etc I text my in laws at some point later that day to let them know what had happened. His grandmother text back something benign like 'may God take care of him' and then we heard nothing from her or her husband for a full 2 days....he was extremely ill and as his parents we were terrified. After 2 days she sent a text to ask how he was and after a lot of thought I decided to gently let her know we were hurt that they had not been in touch. She replied that she had been traumatized herself by our sons illness and that she felt faint at the exact time he lost consciousness (this turned out to be off by a day timing wise) and that she is psychically linked to him and doesn't need to call and ask about him as she just 'knows' Her husband also sent an angry text defending her and saying again that she just 'knows' what's going on etc and doesn't need to get in touch. I was so hurt that they could know my son was so ill and not need to know he was okay or not want to call and talk to him or us. It's consistent with a history of not keeping in touch and having little to no interest in their grandkids but this was an eye opener. I think I was in denial before and now I'm so hurt and angry I don't know how I can stand to be around them on their annual 2 week visit next year. I'm driving myself crazy trying to understand them. I'd love to hear any opinions. She did eventually apologize in a text about 3 days later. We think my sister in law had a word with her but the family MO is to pretend the entire thing never happened. There are a million more incidents but for me this was by far the most hurtful as I can't think of any excuse that could make it okay. Thanks in advance for any advice!

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CKBlossom's picture
Oct 16

Sounds familiar! I can only encourage you to talk to your husband and remind him that you need to be surrounded by family that love and encourages, not by those who suck the life out of you.


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