Hi I'm in a "relationship" with a lady. We do not live toge


I'm in a "relationship" with a lady. We do not live together, but I have so far visited her a few times - we live in different cities

 At first she just came with compliments to me. She claimed we were soulmates and meant for each other. She gave me a lot of attention and was very kind to me. She talked about getting married. How many children we should get together. How wonderful future we would get together. Etc. I fell in love. She presented herself as the world's best girlfriend. And that she never understood why married couples argued and became unfriendly.

However, I feel a feeling now after half a year that the person I first became familiar with does not really exist. .
There are some things I think are strange:

She always needs money for something. Often in the form of hints and a charm offensive in advance to make me happy. "The next time you get here everything gets a lot better! I need to borrow money or I'm going to buy aaa .."

She often corrects and criticizes me when we have a conversation. When I try to kiss her she rejects me. Then she kisses me 10 minutes afterwards. And try to give me direct commands "Get the coffee. Open the window. Give me $ 5. Go to buy food."

The mood fluctuates from day to day

She can switch between describing her friends as angels and demons. Misunderstand me often in the worst sense

When I was there last time she became extremely angry a couple of times. Never seen a human being so angry before. I was unlucky and fell on the floor. Instead of asking if I had a pain, she began to yell. "Do not disturb the neighbors". She presented herself as an empath last year when I first met her.

sarcasm at my expense..example. "Have you been to a madhouse?" Just kidding "..." Just throw your toothbrush in the toilet when you leave! Just kidding ..

She describes all her former partners very negatively. The first had borderline personality disorder, according to her. And it ended that she ended up in prison because of a misunderstanding about money. The other tried to hurt her. The third I know little about.

She has no contact with her family. Saying they do not understand her and blame her for everything that's wrong. She is right in everything.

 Feeling I have to think about everything I say and do a hundred times, for fear of getting a angry reaction in return.

Sended me a message one evening that a man would sleep with her. The next day there were 2 messages that she loves me. She claims this man is her best friend and that they have never been together and never had sex. Strangely, I see in the conversation log that she wrote to me on an earlier occasion that she had terminated the relationship with him. "

Sitting and chatting online with other men when I'm there. And commenting on how stupid they are trying to flirt with her.

I realize I've been stupid and been blinded for a long time by the charm I met at the start. I have always felt that it has been my fault when the mood has been bad and as a consequence tried to "help her" with money when it has been needed. Wanted to get back the kind and happy lady she was at the start.
It was these extreme anger outbreaks when I was there last time which made me "wake up" and search for explanations. And when I have thought through everything in perspective, I see that this is not normal behavior.

I'm getting very worried and am just afraid of how this will develop. I have been emotionally exhausted in recent months.

What do you mean? Is this typical behavior of narcissistic people?
What should I do?

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11 hours ago

It's true, there's something lying very deep in there own make up that's clearly not normal, it's very dark and scary to see even a little bit of that part of them, I for one never could understand why he'd think it was ok to talk about it in his 'what ever' way, he is something else, his humanity is none existent, I'm just pleased I don't live in his shadow anymore, but depressed it took me so long to get out of it x

1 hour ago

Wise to get out of such conditions. But surely easier said than done. So be glad you finally managed, although it took time.. Yes, some dark thing deep inside them.

Now my Narc begins to become desperate. She has tried to contact me in every imaginable way today, from phone, text message, snap and mail.

"I miss you. With a heart" Is this hoovering?

Quite fascinating, considering that it was she who ended the relationship. lol

What does this mean? Was her new plan with new source failed? Or did she just throw me away to "put me in place" or "create drama"? Or do they have to control their "assets"? Or is she confused herself?

DaraMayl's picture
1 hour ago

@Norway It is hoovering or attempted love bombing. Her new supply isn't meeting all her needs yet or won't so she needs you to stay available to her.


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