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Hi, I'm adopted and a adult survivor of child abuse but unfo

Hi, I'm adopted and a adult survivor of child abuse but unfortunately I had to move back in with my parents last december. I well as being adopted I was also the family's scapegoat and I posting here because I'm just so stressed out because I'm back living with my parents and trying to survive the abuse all over again, I'm that scapegoat that no one want to go close to, I was very slow to learn and understand things, people gossip about me alot and quickly and I therefore have no friends hence moving back in with my abusers. I don't know how else to help myself anymore, I've attempted school multiple times and have re-enrolled again for the coming year, I can't survive on my own because I will only be paid minimum wage and people take advantage of me because I don't have a support system. I swim as a coping mechanism but the team I swim with are mostly awful because they do the things I've previously described. A male coach whom works in walfare thought it was appropriate to kiss me after when to seek advice and help because I lost my job, I've stopped speaking to him but now he's desperately trying to find out where I work(it's nerve wrecking). I've stopped brining my water bottle to training because the coaches would kick it over(I swim with a masters team, as in adults), another male coach randomly began to record me as I swam without informing me and just letting me know what is going on.
Last weekend my parents attacked me because one of them had to go removed their grand-daughters potti from the guest bathroom, they berated me by insulting my biological family, ofcourse my mum wanted to call the police, my dad says I'm not allowed to have opinion while I'm under his roof and that my room is messy(I'm only allowed 2 plastic drawers and I can't hang anything, so yeah it is messy)all this is a exact replica of my childhood. I hate these people for a billion and one reasons, I'd never be around them if I could afford to survive on my own. Is there anyone else struggling like this?

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[1305]
Oct 11

@liloneleaves
Not the US, almost nobody's heard about "narcissistic abuse" around here, it's not even a phrase, so talking about it is setting yourself up to be treated as crazy in one way or another. Living with parents? You're entitled and ungrateful. Blaming exes for "relationship failures"? Gotta be more to do than that., something wrong with you. Especially if there's little physical abuse.

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lalalalala555's picture
[1185]
Oct 11

@Alex.Blue wow. Normally I live in an extremely aware country in Western Europe however I am currently in a foreign country(not Western European) and at the embassy I had to speak with an American because apparently in this country though there are a lot of abusive men there are apparently no abusive families: a severe level of denial occurring here. but that still occurs in the US most places are still unaware of narcissistic child abuse only specialty centres understand and have units related to trauma and child abuse so do not feel so bad.

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[1305]
Oct 13

@liloneleaves
I'm happy to read you got justice. You don't mention years, only say it's in the past, so I assume it was something even worse than Haldol (which I got) :-///

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