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Hi Everyone. I've just today signed up to this group hoping

Hi Everyone. I've just today signed up to this group hoping for a second opinion so to speak. I am struggling to come to the conclusion if my partner is showing narcissistic traits/signs. I won't babble on to much but would really be so grateful for any advice to my situation.

We have been together 5 years and have a 3 year old son. When I first met him he was very loving, affectionate and basically told me he'd fell madly in love with me after just weeks of meeting him. He said i'd saved him from a life that was going nowhere that i was the female version of him as we had so much in common it was scary. I obviously loved the attention thought he was so good looking and I couldn't quite believe my luck. About 3 months into the relationship i found him talking and sending pics to other women on various sleazy sites which has continued our entire relationship. I've forgiven time after time as the promise of change from him always gave me hope. He can disappear for days blocking me ignoring me. He cant seem to take responsibility for any of his actions. Its always somebody else's fault why he does what he does. He has to prompted to apologize. Hes never helped with house duties and the care of our son unless really really nagged to do so.This can lead him to go off in major huffs! He's made me think on numerous occasions that things i suspect him of are all in my head. That I have mental issues, that I'm crazy. He lies about everything! Even its like how much a takeaway costs he tells me its £10 later to find £25 has come out the account. I have broke down many times in tears in front of him which doesn't seem to have any affect on him. These are the basics really. Any ideas?

Thanks guys.

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beth65's picture
[31955]
Aug 1

@prettygreeneyes my ex is bipolar.

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[410]
Aug 2

@beth65 I’m quite annoyed that this has just been mentioned from his family he’s only just found out too! my head is just all over the place! Could it be this could it be that? He’s finally went to docs that have prescribed him antidepressants as he’s very depressed at the moment sleeping 12 hours a day no energy thinking he’s a mistake! I found him hysterically crying a few days ago saying he hates what he does to me what he’s doing to his family! he’s also said when he does the awful things he’s done the disappearing the sites he’s been on afterwards he says he feels like it wasn’t real that he did those things! I’m just in limbo right now x

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beth65's picture
[31955]
Aug 2

@prettygreeneyes they have DNA test they do now to see which medications are best for them. He should do that DNA test. My ex did that test and found out he was taking what he should. A change in medication may help him cope but may not solve the problems you have with him. If he is on medication and still clinically depressed, is he seeing a psychiatrist? The medication my ex was on was lamictal (not sure of spelling) but it is also used for people who have seizures. They have highs and lows with bipolar, so not just depression. They normally monitor and adjust the medications. Which means seeing the psychiatrist every so often and then making adjustments as needed. That's how they did it with my ex. I listened to a Great Course I purchased from audible on bipolar which talked about some of the behaviors. Sometimes I think they are self medicating, trying to get back to the high from being depressed so they do things to get back to that high or out of that low. My ex usually had something he was really into, like riding motorcycle. I think a new relationship gives that high. He was an alcoholic. He said he could never quiet his mind. Supposedly spending money or sexual behaviors are part of it. He also played video games a lot to cope. Listened to explicit rap music. Went to a shooting range and shot a gun. Played poker. All normal kinds of things too. Then he started in the porn and pot.
I believe a bipolar person can still decide to have family values and be faithful. I think you have to draw a line at what you're willing to deal with. My ex would pull the whole suicide thing at times, say how he thought about killing himself. You cannot get sucked into that or be responsible if he decides to do that. He needs to see a psychiatrist and a psychologist. You can support his getting help for his issues. But you may need to do that from a safe distance. You need to do what is right for you and your child also. My ex never apologized either. His whole family seemed to have a problem with that basic courtesy. These are just my opinions.

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