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Hi everyone. I am new to the site but really appreciate it

Spring68's picture
[850]

Hi everyone. I am new to the site but really appreciate it so far. I have been doling out advice as the mother I am while I am melting into myself everyday. I too ask..when will it ever stop? Will I every really feel true love? How come I am not enough? How can I make this incredible pain stop? I am trooping forward everyday, but MY FEET ARE IN CEMENT. I doubt myself at every turn, so much that I cant even go to Walmart to get some things I need. I don't want to be around anyone..interesting because I became so isolated with him. I'm just feeing....lost.

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Lostmyselfinhim's picture
[1250]
Jul 12

You are one of the ones who told me to go no contact, and I did. It was excruciating to take him on Facebook and even change my cell phone number that I've had for many years. And if I can do this I know that you can do this yes it is painful! To the point where you feeling completely isolated and like a Hermit with no one around. I have been going through the same thing for 2 days now and it is miserable. At the same time the more I read everybody's blogs I think about all of the miserable things he put me through and how every moment that I felt isolated or abandon was something that he conjured up in his mind and prepared and plan beforehand. Just walking around on eggshells and not knowing what personality I was going to get or all of the negative words he would say is so much better to be alone. I would suggest you do something that you like. For me it was wearing makeup I could never wear makeup when he was around ever for 7 years I didn't wear makeup but I left to do it because it made me feel pretty. So now I'm wearing makeup because I like it and it does make me feel better and I'm happy I get to do it. Thank you for all the support you have given me and I'm not much of a counselor but I hope I give you some enlightenment.

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Hang in there and if you do not feel like going out then don't. I felt like that for months hopefully it will not last that long for you. But when you feel better try to force yourself to go out even for only 15 min for fresh air and a walk. I forced myself it was hard but I intuitively knew that I had to do keep moving and get a natural mood lift from exercise. This is considered a major trauma so treat it seriously. If you can get therapy and are so inclined go for it. Learn about the disorder as a deep understanding will facilitate your healing greatly. This is why people who learn they are with narcs binge watch videos on the subject. The validation is liberating and the information healing. A big part of recovery is the passage of time and that is different for everyone. Also if you have a pattern of getting involved with toxic people then start to address what keeps you repeating this dynamic in your relationships.

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Spring68's picture
[850]
Jul 12

Thank you for the insight...I really appreciate it.

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