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Hi everyone. I am new to the forum and I don't really know w

Hi everyone. I am new to the forum and I don't really know where to start but I will try my best. I have been with my now second husband for almost 7 years married for almost 2 years. I truly believe that he is a full blown narcissist. He would freak out on me if he knew that I were e en talking to someone about this right now. He was on methadone for almost 11 years and he just recently got off of it about 8 months ago. I feel like his narcissistic traits have gotten worse. He is always yelling about something whether it be at me or just in general. He has NO patience and is always angry about everything. His mother just recently divorced his father...her husband of thirty years and he cheated on her and she belit that he is a narcissist. I am starting to see all of these traits in my husband. My mother in law told my husband to read this book called "A Narcissist I Know" because it touches on his father and his narcissistic behaviors. He told my mother in law that he did not want to read the book because he was afraid that he would read qualities about himself. So he is aware of how he acts but he just doesn't care. He will freak out on me and embarrasse be in public with one of his meltdowns and one time he took away all of my credit and debit cards because I got three 5 dollar overdraft fees. But then about a month later he went a d got three thirty dollar overdraft fees and I didn't get to say **** about it. Tonight he was yelling at me because I didn't want to stop and get something to eat when I got out of work because I knew that he had to work early in the morning and I wanted to get home so he could go to bed so he yelled at me about that and I told him I burned myself at work and he yelled at me about that also. Then he gets upset that I get upset. I just don't know what to do anymore. I reuined my first marriage by leaving him for this guy and he has been awful ever since he got off of the methadone. Maybe it's just me and noticing it more lately. I need help and I am on the verge on asking for a divorce and moving in with my mom. Please help I am a mess.

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LivingOnAPrayer's picture
[8370]
Aug 14

@Onelove86 Parts of what you wrote are what I'm living too. My narcissist husband is always upset about something too, and yells almost every day either at me or around me about something else. I am so sorry you are dealing with this too. I'm looking for a way out but don't have one yet. If you can move in with your mom, I agree with the others that you should. Keep posting...there are lots of great people here for support.

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Onelove86's picture
[95]
Aug 14

He was part much the same on the methadone, yes, but I feel like since he has completely gotten off of it his patience is none exsistant. He gets impatient waiting at a stop light waiting for it to change. Just little **** that is out of our control as humans. I will cry myself to sleep then in the morning we will wake up and I will STILL be upset and he will ask me what is wrong. It's like u just let me cry myself to sleep and u could care less and u want to know what is wrong!! R u kidding me. He got upset with me last night because he says that I am getting to skinny and he does not want to be married to an anorexic. I could eat all day everyday and still gain no weight. I am 5'4 and 100 pounds. I am in general a very small person. I keep telling him as well as myself that if he keeps treating me this way that I am going to leave but they are always empty promises. I have not left and gone to my mother's because honestly I am afraid he won't try to get me back. A couple of times when he was arrested he would say things like I know I have problems and I don't know why I say the things I say. But then he gets out of jail and we will get into a fight about something and I threaten to leave he tells me to leave. He does not want to keep me there if I don't want to be there. So I don't know what to think or do anymore.

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Daniel1018's picture
[11560]
Aug 14

Okay, first thing first. Your not going to fix this guy...you can’t. Stop reacting to his erratic behavior. He’s gas lighting you into a frenzy which he gets narcissistic supply from. You need to study that and understand it. There are some good videos on YouTube. I lived with one for 14 years and am now free from her. Quit getting sucked into his ranting and try not to react, the more you react to his negative behavior the more life will get sucked out of you. REMEMBER THAT!! This all might sound bizarre to you at first but it’s reality. You need to slowly start letting go of him and start being more concerned about you and your well being. Spend less energy arguing and start coming up with a strategy to leave. Start getting your ducks lined up secretly and do not let him know what your doing. I escaped mine and am now multiple states away.

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