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Hi all, Im new here. My story I need help with is that I div

Hi all, Im new here. My story I need help with is that I divorced my narcissist husband 6 months ago and as much as I swore I hated him as I am teyung to heal......I am truly deeply in live with him and cant let him go. My kids 10 and 13 hate him and all my friends and family hate him, yet here I am misrible with out him.....Its like I cant breathe without him here. Any sugguestions?

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mmadwaite's picture
[2650]
Dec 6

How long were you married? I know how you feel. I am having a hard time letting go , but it is getting easier. Now I do see the real man I married, after his narcissistic fit which was ugly, and reducing me to nothing, and destroying everything that was us. The hurt was unbelievable. I finally have concluded that this is really over. I think it is the memories that makes it hard, and being alone, and turning yourself back into a single person. But it is like Ifeeldefeated said, it is the fake person he pretended to be,, the lies and manipulations; now it all makes sense. I did not realize that anyone like that could even exist. He shattered my trust and broke my heart, but I am finally moving on after five months, and you can too. You have to really focus on yourself, and accept him for the phony that he was.

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[310]
Dec 6

I think what you are going through is because of the "trauma bonding". If you're like me and my situation, you know deep down that you want and need to be done with him for your own good. There probably really wasn't that much good if you really think about it. Also is you really think about it with a clear head the bad was probably pretty bad and there is no way that you should go back to him. What you feel is almost like and addiction. You are so used to worry and caring for him, also trying to please him and walk on egg shells around him that you are probably feeling a withdrawal. It's like you don't know how to act or what to do with yourself because you are so used to putting his needs before your own. What you need to keep reminding yourself is that he is a big boy and he can take care of himself. He's someone else's problem now. Just try to cut it all off completely (cold turkey).

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[100]
Dec 7

At last.....someone who understands....my family just keeppps saying Im being stupid just get him out of your head.....but thr addiction....its a duzy.....its so hard to say goodbye. You are all so strong....something I used to praise myself on but this guy has taken my power....my power to live my pwer to heal, my power to have fun, my power of me and my power to breathe.....Nothing males me happy right now.its very scary to be so knumb. The only thing I feel....is pain...and its making me ugly.

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