Hi all.. I’m new here. I’m having trouble understanding

Hi all.. I’m new here. I’m having trouble understanding anything. I guess the first question I have, is am I the Narcissist? I’m so confused right now.
Maybe I’m the problem

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(3620)
Nov 30

@Beccalin7727 Looks like you have already gotten some good feedback here. Just to reinforce what others have said, if you are even willing to consider that you may be at fault or considering you are the narcissist, is a good indicator that you are not. I was married to one for 16 years, so I have a lot of experience with this. She even tried to convince me in the end, that I was the one with the personality disorder. It is amazing how shrewd they are with words and the expertise at taking your words, rearranging them, twisting them and adding a little here or there to send you into great confusion. Yes, researching this is key to how you respond or not respond (which is usually best). You will find as you research or talk to a professional, this is not something that will go away. I was hell bent on making my marriage work, not realizing that things would never get better. I kept thinking that counseling might help, but the thing is, they won't admit to having a problem and if a counselor points it out, they will actually blame the counselor in the end. I hate to say it, but the best thing to do is get away.

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blackeyesusan's picture

@jack007 I agree with your statement in regards to getting away.
@Becca7727 Narcissists DONT change. You need to change on how you deal with them and your expectations. And thank you for your kind statement.

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(110)
Dec 1

If you get any anxiety wondering about this, just run through this checklist. Are you accountable for your actions (able to apologize/grow from mistakes)? Not Narcissistic. Do you have a grandiose nature and feel entitled to goals/rewards/relationships you don't put effort towards? If not, you're likely not Narcissistic. Do you have empathy for others or at least go out of your way not to hurt others? Likely not Narcissistic.

We are all human with flaws. We're bound to make mistakes. What matters is how you deal with it. If someone hurts you and projects that onto you and doesn't take accountability for the pain they caused you, they are dangerous to your mental health and need to go.

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