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Have you called out the narcissist? I have yet to find anyo

Have you called out the narcissist?
I have yet to find anyone that recommends naming it to his face, but I did anyway! I said, "You know, I think you're a narcissist, as in Narcissistic Personality Disorder." Now, my husband, the narcissist, has a psych degree from UCLA. HA! I wrote all of his papers for him, which I regret, but he did take the tests. Predictably, he said, no, he's really a very loving person, and I would realize it one day. True, I caught him lying, cheating, gaslighting, manipulating, and all the rest on a regular basis, but none of that really happened. Sure, we were married for longer than I care to admit right now, and he discarded me like so much garbage, but he still loves me, after all. In other words, I guess everyone was right. It was useless to call him out. But still, I felt I had a moral responsibility to do it. Like, if I had a mental disorder, I'd want someone to inform me. And I hope some day when he's sitting in prison for fraud or something, like Sam Vaknin, he'll remember what I told him, and try to get some help.

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[550]
Oct 17

@CL061 Yeah, Vaknin surely enjoys all the supply he's getting from grateful people like me. His advice on my lawsuit was right on the money. He knew just how to handle my psychopathic neighbor problem. So, it's hard for me not to like him as an adviser. I'm sure he'd be hell to have as a husband, though.

Wow, that quote from the narc forum is disturbing. Is that on reddit? I am so tired of sick people. I just want to live nice and cozy with people who know how.

It's definitely NO to the business venture. It shows how bad off I am - still - that I even seriously consider it. That's just the word I used to my husband when he brought it up - DANGLING. He's dangling that business in front of me like tasty carrot. I didn't think of it exactly as a hoover tactic, but that's what it is. He'll get me trapped in this sick triangulation with his new girlfriend. I told my brother all about it, and he said he would fund the new business if I find a new partner . He said, "I don't think it's a good idea to have a business partner with character issues." DUH! Wouldn't that be beautiful - to open up the business without the narcissist? But I don't know a soul with the right set of characteristics - except my narcissistic husband. We have complementary skills. But still, I must move on! WTF is wrong with me?!

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[550]
Oct 17

@Living4Peace. I'm definitely going to look into this divorce idea. :)

I find the prospect of keeping people in line with firm boundaries all the time exhausting. I don't want to be standing people down all the time. I suppose it can become second nature, and you don't even think about it. But there are people that won't take advantage of you even if they can. Isn't that most people? Cluster B people are about 4% of the population, and the rest are - maybe not perfect, but basically not that bad, no? I've been so isolated by the narcissist for so long, I barely know what to expect from people any more.

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Living4Peace's picture
[39355]
Oct 17

@ultramarine Glad to help. :)

I do too. I deeply despise fighting. I grew up with it being the only form of communication in my house and it makes me tired just thinking about it, lol. I figure, if someone finds it difficult, or against their nature, to treat others with common decency, then they're probably not worth having in my life to any capacity. So far, the majority of people I've come across are not so great. Empathy and compassion, seem to be a rare commodity in the general public. This group is packed with caring kind people that I wish were easier to come across in life.

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