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Feeling a little lost today. Spent 5 years of my life battli

Feeling a little lost today. Spent 5 years of my life battling and believing I was with the right girl. I have a lovely daughter who is nearly 3.im 36 years old and keep thinking I should be settled down and be in a family dynamic not a single parent that possibly will not have more children as a lot of lady's have probably had kids by my age. Unless of coarse a silver fox is what they want!! I'm not married which is probably a good thing in this situation as things could be more difficult. That silly guilty feeling keeps croping into my head what will my daughter have to grow up with as I have been blatantly pushed to the side. I'm not just dealing with one covert narcissist (my ex) but 2 (mother in law) now I'm out of that dynamic I have realised a few red flags I didn't spot. Fitstly when I met my ex she had a grandmother with dimentia my ex /mother in law cared for her and the rest of the family were no where to be seen! When I met the other family members at meals and get together they was paying for everything using the grandmother's money and smugly reminding everyone they was spending mothers money!! Obviously at the time I believed it was unjust as my ex/mother in law stated. When the grandmother died aged 94 the rest of the family cut ties with my ex/mother in law. Thinking back on it it was probably because they were in a narcissistic dynamic with the grandmother and saw my ex and mother in law as spin offs of this dynamic. My ex has two siblings one I believe is the golden child. He has a good job and couldn't do anything wrong in the mother in laws eyes the other is messed up does drugs is violent as I discovered when he confronted me one day for no reason and threatened me!! And my ex is like the surrogate covert narcissist. She goes to mummy with every bit of info and asks advice for everything including relationship advice! The biggest mistake I made was to point out to my ex that her mum had issues!! That's when my ex was used as a flying monkey against me. Little did I know my ex was a trainee extension of her mother. The narrative my ex has, I think stems from her Dad leaving the family when she was young.i met him a few times he seems very normal nothing was ever said about why her parents split but I think now I know why!! It's like she is reliving her past using me as her enabler. She had the child and then turned on me making me feel worthless then discarding me. The mother in law is also playing this messed up reality and actively helping my ex to play this nightmare into a reality.oh my I think there is a very long road ahead. Custody battles is not what I'm looking for here. I just need to get my head into gear to deal with what's to come and to create a safe space for my daughter so she doesn't follow the sameroute as my ex/mother in law. It's going to be tough as I think they will both try there hardest to make there reality true and force me away. Then my ex can find a new puppet that will probably be used against me and then thrown away..

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[160]
Mar 16

@GirlKitty thank you much appreciated.

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[160]
Mar 16

@Ducktape cheers definitely the kind of advice I can use going forward.

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Foundlove's picture
[11560]
Mar 16

I’m sorry your going through this nasty situation. It will be tough road for sure and I pray for you to find the strength to get though it!

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