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Can I ask what may seem like a silly question? How have you

Can I ask what may seem like a silly question? How have you all moved on from betrayal? How have you started living your lives having faith in others? I have been cheated on before in relationships... But it wasn't to this caliber obviously. I am finding that I am now just.. Distrustful of everything. I won't call someone out on it... But I won't invest in anyone either. Baby steps? I just don't know how to do it.

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[3055]
Apr 24

I think I have come to understand the psychological issues and characteristics related to NPD, BPD, and the other cluster-B disorders well enough, and I've come to realize more about myself and my contributions to my toxic marriage, that I don't quite see it in the context of black & white trust/distrust. I am more skeptical now I suppose, and I will always pay more attention to those little red flags that I've always noticed in people, and I have confidence I'll be better in keeping my distance from those people than I was before. I completely and totally understand why my wife lied and cheated, and while it is frustrating and I most certainly didn't deserve any of it, I also understand she will never admit fault (I think she also has some delusional tendencies, with many BPD symptoms) and that in my opinion, it's a wiring issue. Going forward, I won't ignore those red flags, I won't rationalize so much, I won't settle, I won't brush aside my feelings, if that means being alone for a while, then so be it! I think doing those things coupled with the knowledge I've gained will mitigate the issue of trust/distrust. I guess what I'm saying is that I think the best way to avoid another toxic relationship, is to understand the circumstances and situations (as well as the reasons) that we all put ourselves in to begin with. Just my rambling thoughts anyway....

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[13470]
Apr 24

@mmadwaite superficial is such a great word for it!

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[24795]
Apr 24

yeah, I hear ya...I don't bother calling many people out...I just listen and talk to them while thinking ugh huh, interesting...some people aren't worth the time and energy it takes to address them especially since they'll just lie anyway...save your energy for what matters

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