Are all narcissists cheats? Only I’m sure that’s the onl

[330]

Are all narcissists cheats? Only I’m sure that’s the only thing my ex didn’t do. However he did used to blow hot and cold with me dependant on whether he was talking with his family or not. He had a fraught upbringing and only had his cold father bring him up who had children from different mothers. I think he was narcissistic too. Anyway he didn’t speak too kindly of his dad and I always supported him then when he got back in with his dad at times he always kept us separate and then he’d say great things about him and be totally off with me. So my question is do npds use family as other primary sources in the same way they use other women. I just wanted us all to get along but it was never possible. He ran back to his dad when I filed for divorce and now everything goes through the dad??? It’s madness after all he said about him. X

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[330]
Dec 8

Thanks all for the replies. I appreciate it I do. My ex has to be a narc as he fits every sign to a tee. I read the book “when love is a lie” and it was like reading my own story. His behaviour over the slightest thing was so extreme. Anyway, he says his dad beat him as a child and was very cold to him and that he can’t talk to him on an emotional level unyet he chose to smack our son for the slightest thing and would pull his ear and slap his chin at the table if he didn’t eat. My son is far from naughty and I have very few problems with him. In fact he is thriving now his dad has gone. What confuses me is how can you hate what happened to yourself then treat your own son in a similar way. I used to cringe when he was abusive to our son but if I said anything he would say “it never did me any harm” he’d then stonewall me and leave. At times he despised his dad but then acted just like him and forges ongoing relations with him before they fall out again! My narc always fell out with friends and family and cut them out but all would let him back in just as I did. ?? They have this way about them. He used to say “ you’ll never love anyone more than me or get anyone better than me” us *****(surname) are all the same. We are infectious, dads women always want him no matter what he’s done to them “ at times he would be proud of how he and his dad treat women?! Hope this makes sense. I’m so confused xx

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[37915]
Dec 8

@SHB123
The narc seeks supply, that is the reward. They will lie, cheat, steal, con, triangulate, anything deceptive, to get that supply. They don't care what sex you are, as long as you have something to stimulate supply for them. If it's a male narc and his source is a woman or vice versa, sex often comes into play. A male narc going after supply from one of his own gender, sex does not come into play, but rather something else like deception in doing business or playing the wounded duck routine. We all have a tendency to try to apply logic to their behavior. Their behavior defies logic, anything is game. I have learned not to believe anything that comes out of their mouths. Nothing is real.

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[330]
Dec 8

I agree. Great advice. I keep telling myself as all the literature says . Love was a lie it was all a lie and maybe even the abuse he said he’d endured was a lie? It’s so hard though because when you remember those long meaningful chats and witnessed the tears at times . IT SEEMED SO REAL!!! It’s funny when he ever cried I consoled him. If I ever cried he would say SHUT YOUR NOISE, IF YOU DONT STOP CRYING IM LEAVING. Sorry gone off On a tangent . Anyway still maintaining grey rock but a little sad with Xmas coming up xx

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