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Anyone else's narcissist pick apart their appearance in excr

Anyone else's narcissist pick apart their appearance in excruciating detail?

I was just watching some videos on line where men are giving their opinion of women's beauty choices: hair, nails, dress etc. A majority of the men said, 'I don't really notice that unless it's extreme AND/OR I don't really care either way, she can do what makes you feel good."

It just reminded me how opposite my ex narc was. He analyzed every little bit of my appearance from my skin tone to the freckle on my lip, to my eyebrows, to my roots coming in two-three weeks after color, to how my shorts fit me, to what nails looked to how my lipstick crept ever so slightly outside my lip-line to my breast reduction to the size of my hands! HE always had a comment and opinion, even when it was way off topic. It was ALWAYS something!

Never did I even hear, "Whatever makes you confident and feel good, I don't mind either way." Or, "You're so beautiful."

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Oct 19

@Gentle1 Trust me, if you were thin and/or looked exactly like those women, he'd find a way to resent that about you too. I'm telling you. I've been made to feel bad for absolutely everything. I've been made to feel bad for being young, being attractive, being not attractive enough, being too thin, being too out of shape, caring about my looks too much and being "extra" and slacking too much on my looks and not being enough. People who want to resent you, make you feel bad or prevent themselves from being too attached emotionally, will look at the "truth" or, what kind of bothers you or naturally kind of bothers them and capitalize on it. They will 0 in on it and blow it up until you both believe it's a negative. I'm telling you.. if you were a billionaire supporting 10 charities or a super model traveling the world, someone would find a way to make THAT bad.

Oct 19

@CL061 I also decided some years back to intentionally lose weight. Coworkers, friends and some acquaintances also complimented and encouraged me. I didn't lose a lot of weight, about 15 lbs but I feel better. Looking back, my husband also barely mentioned it. I never thought about him probably hating the attention.

An important side note, I decided to lose weight to prove that it could be done. At roughly the same time my STBX was undergoing bariatric surgery evaluation. He would procrastinate and not follow through and he would overeat and exercise no control. . He made excuses for not logging what he ate for the nutritionist. He ultimately failed the prerequisite testing for surgery. So yeah, I guess in hindsight i did torture him!

Gentle1's picture
Oct 19

@HildaBeast thanks for the comment, I agree with what you said, he probably would still find something wrong with me. I have learned that abusive people are never satisfied, unless they beat you down either physically or otherwise.


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