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Anybody else’s spouse can literally spin everything to be

Anybody else’s spouse can literally spin everything to be your fault

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Jul 11

Yep most definitely!! They believe they are not at fault for anything. It always gets blamed on someone else no matter what the situation is.

Jul 11

I’m new to SG. I’ve been married to my narc for almost 22 years. I need support. I have 3 kids. I’ve stayed for them. I’m in therapy and getting stronger and wondering WHAT WAS I THINKING?! But I’m in so deep now? I’m lost.

Jul 12

@amyyyyyyyyyywhy Welcome to SG!... I can assure you that you’ve come to the right place for support. SG is a safe place to talk to genuinely caring and understanding people, without judgment. We are almost all victims/survivors of narcissistic abuse in this group. We gather strength from the support that surrounds us here. You are never alone once you join our support community. Only those who’ve experienced a narcissistic relationship can truly understand what you’ve been through. I’m glad to hear you’re in therapy and that you’re getting stronger. I know it seems that way, but you are never in too deep to find your inner strength, and free yourself from this emotional bondage. As for staying for the kids, I realize that many people stay in abusive relationships believing it’s best for the kids. But, honestly, it is not. The toxic effect on children from a narcissistic parent is extremely damaging to their self-worth, and emotional health and well-being. It changes who they are, and will affect their entire life, and future relationships. I am sure, like any good, non-narc parent, your children’s best interest is a top priority. Narcissistic parents are dysfunctional, and do not put their children’s best interests first. They put their own interests first, and feel entitled to use and abuse everyone else, including their own children. Children are often used as pawns in the battle for control over their spouse and the relationship. You and your kids deserve a happy life, and a peaceful, non-toxic environment. I was trapped in a marriage prison to a controlling, emotionally abusive, covert narcissist for 30 years. I never thought I’d ever be free. It turned out that he actually did me the biggest favor of my life by abandoning me. Believe me, I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. He was extremely cruel and punishing, and left me in a devastating and life-threatening situation. It was a long and difficult struggle for survival, but in the end it has transformed me. It gave me the chance to prove to myself that I wasn’t the worthless, incompetent child he had treated me as for three decades. The emotional and verbal abuse, and gaslighting, are the narcissists’ projections, of how they really feel about themselves at core level. They wear away the victim’s sense of self and identity; they are soul-crushers. We tell ourselves it’s not that bad, and maybe some of it is our fault. But it’s NOT TRUE!... It is that bad; it’s abuse, and no one deserves abuse of any kind. It’s the narc’s manipulations that make us think we’re to blame, and fill us with self-doubt. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!... I’ve provided the link to an eye-opening article by Melanie Tonia Evans, who is an expert in recovery from narcissistic abuse. It is called, “Is The Narcissist Capable Of Loving?” I usually recommend it to new members, as it is very validating, and answers many commonly asked questions about narcissism. I hope you find it helpful; and we are always available to support you:

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