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So I discovered the extent of my husbands infidelities about

So I discovered the extent of my husbands infidelities about a week before Mothers day this year. It has been devastating. Daily I feel like I've been punched in the stomach and I can't breath. A slew of photos and videos of all of his multiple encounters of infidelity dating back to December 2015. It's worse than I could have ever imagine. Taking place during the day while he was suppose to be working. He works his own business. He made it a point to always be home at night. He's been living a double life for at least the past 5 years. We celebrated our 10 year anniversary this past July. Been together 13 years total. And I feel like it's all been a lie. He's a pathological liar, a sex addict and a narcissist. I am his 3rd wife and he's my second husband. We have a 5 year old daughter together and he has 4 children from the previous marriage. I initially discovered he was watching porn while we were dating 2006 and I was so naive back then. The watching porn eventually escalated to sexting (discovered during my pregnancy 2015), sexting escalated to hooking up with women 2015. I discovered when our daughter was @ 1 that he'd been swinging and had created an actual profile on a swingers website and was hooking up with all these random women, multiple times, on 1 video I discovered a couple, another video a threesomes with 2 women all for the sex. I made several first hand discoveries over the past 5, the 1st was a at a swingers house party which I didn't realize at the time until I discovered a short time later an email receipt where he'd ordered a sex toy and had it shipped to the sex partner 2016. So I followed the trail and actually confronted the partner who disclosed to me she'd met him on this swinger website. A few mths later in an email again I discovered he was at a hotel with a women 2017 and I drove to the hotel and confronted him a third time. The straw that has finally broken the camel back is the recent discoveries @ a week before mothers day of at least a hundred photos and videos of him having sex with thes random women, sex with a couple, and sex with 2 women a threesome. I want to throwup. And he's made lightly of the whole thing, blame shifting. He's mad at me. We're separated now almost 1month and a half. He left the house, but he'll say I put him out. Left not leaving a penny and has managed to leave me in a financial mess, credit shot, behind on bills, 3mths behind on the mortgage. I had to go to my church for financial assistance. And the cake topper is that he is a deacon in our church. Now that he's gone he's free to keep living this double life. And he is. I haven't had sex with him since he left 11/2mths ago, so he's having sex with someone. I even sensed that he's fooled around and is fooling around with women at the church and most recently this one young girl at our church. We're both 53. This 1 girl has to be in her late 20's. UGH!!! She's fairly new at the church and initially was real friendly, but now I sense that she's running from me. He has also in the past 2mths distance himself from the church as well. Decided he's taking a break for personal reasons. I've limited contact and also filed for a divorce in November 2017. I Just recently served him papers in May 2019 after I discovered the photos and videos. He refuses to go to counseling or get any help. There are so many more details but it is be impossible to shsre them all here. UGH!!! venting, unloading my heart...Oh and I did get tested for stds.

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SpinningFlower's picture
[2750]
Sep 15

@Technofreak I don't get it either. This customer that comes in where I work, gave me this gift, a heart in a bag with a note of kindness. She said every time she comes in, I go out of my way to help her and she wanted to thank me that she appreciates my kindness. It made me feel really great, and I said to myself, maybe I'm really not that bad of a person after all. Then I said, why am I even thinking that in the first place. Because of how he makes me feel. Like I'm a bad person. Suddenly I am on his bad list. So yes, why doesn't he appreciate the person that I am? I don't get it either.

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SpinningFlower's picture
[2750]
Sep 15

I'm so sorry you had to go through this, but glad you served him with divorce papers. What he did was crazy, especially with being involved with the church, its insane. I would want to be as far away from him as possible.

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Technofreak's picture
[2980]
Sep 15

The issues are not you they are them. I had to learn that the hard way but learned I did. Great people like us are far too great for those who don't appreciate it.

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