I have a problem: I can't stop not helping or auto fixing ev

Blueberries1234's picture

I have a problem: I can't stop not helping or auto fixing everything. It's a bad habit. Something is dirty? I clean it up. If someone is near, I ask all the right questions to find whars challenging them and support them with it. At this point Im not doing it to be a good person, or make friends, or get anything in return. I'm just doing it because it's there and thats my role. I dont know how to operate any other way. I hate myself for it. Yea it comes from childhood trauma, parentified child of mother with narcissism bla bla bla textbook. I cant stop. Who cares if I know why Im doing it? The fact is Im doing it on autopilot. I have no identity outside this.

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May 25

@LollyNews that is great to hear. Very happy for you. Hope things will get better for you ^^

JayBlack's picture
May 27

@Blueberries1234 I think it can be a form of it yes if your triggered or in a particular state of anxiety possibly but those are just my thoughts though.

Blueberries1234's picture
May 27

@illuqrium funny, Im an INFP, and INFJ personality type lol I can get either every tikebi take the test. I think that it's true, animals are more straightforward than human beings. Probably because we have a developed frontal lobe, but theres been videos of people using talking buttons with their pets and some are really amazing at being able to put ACTUAL sentences together, it's amazing and similar to speaking with toddlers. Animals are also good at being manipulative though, it basicallt is like a way to survive in social situations. It isnt that human beings are evil, but that as abuse survivors of NPD parents or partners, we have certain qualities and characteristics that are very similar... the main one, is that we don't take care of our own basic needs. So when you mentioned your experience with homelessness, I'm not surprised. We are so shaken up after the abuse we have experienced, we can really become dysregulated, not eat ver well (ahem Im warming up chicken fingers for lunch at dinnertime...) and it's THIS quality that makes us vulnerable to narcissists. It's very hard for us to be selfisj with our time, to think we are worthy of investing effort, or applying to that job--- we simply dont think we are worthy of it. And that is why we accept narcissistic people who treat us like garbage. And then develop the belief humans cant be trusted. They CAN we just remain too long with the ones who cannot be. It's the single greatest downfall of the child survivor of NPD abuse.

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