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So my fiancé and I moved in with his mother a few months ag

So my fiancé and I moved in with his mother a few months ago because she could no longer afford to keep up with bills and housekeeping. Now that I’m back in the workforce she has been watching my son for us. I am so grateful for that, HOWEVER, she doesn’t stop when I get home. She feeds him, bathed him, and plays with him before I have a chance to. I want to feed my son, I want to give him baths, and I want to rock him to sleep. I’ve asked her several times to let me do these things. It’s gotten to a point where my son runs to her when he’s hurt, only plays with her, and won’t come to me. I love that he is so loved but I also feel like I’ve lost the role of his mother. It’s almost like he isn’t connected emotionally to me. I don’t know how to get back to being the mom figure instead of whatever it is I am now. It is breaking my heart to sit back and watch my mother in law take over EVERYTHING I did to bond with and be a mother to my son.

May 16, 2019

Maybe you could discuss this with your fiancé, and have him approach his mom. Seems some boundaries would be appreciated. Unfortunately these are usually delicate situations.

May 16, 2019

After your son goes to bed, I would have a one-on-one talk with her as well as your fiancé so that they can both hear your heart of wanting to do for your son as his mother since you cannot do those things during the day with him. That's definitely a touchy situation, but if it were me, I would try really hard to have her step into your shoes to remember what it felt like to be a young mom and how vitally important emotional attachments are to a young child. I would think she could understand it once you put it into terms of how she would feel over it all.


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