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Please please any moms out there please tell me what to do!!

[20]

Please please any moms out there please tell me what to do!!!! I am 24 and a first time mom to a little girl (13 months) I am fortunate to get to stay at home with her so I have everyday and night of her life. I am too scared to let anyone keep her for even 10 minutes out of my sight so I have never let her spend the night away from me. We are here stuck a lot since we only have one car, we have to stay home most days and I am beginning to really think something is wrong with me, today I spanked her on the butt because she literally follows me every where I go in this house! From one end to the other and strings out toys clothes food anything and gets into everything. I have let her have and get her way for anything she wants since she was born but she’s still just a baby how can you spoil a baby? But now I am beginning to lose it she cry’s over everything, and is starting to throw fits that break my heart just to put her in the car seat, I’m literally up crying and praying to god that she forgives me for spanking her. Please any one please help me

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[15675]
Sep 11

@Avidreader9559 Yes! Distraction and substitution are great at this age!
Also as they get older -offer them choices!!! BUT. You offer choices that are acceptable to you!!! Ie-do you want to pick up your trucks and Star Wars guys before or after your bath?
The Love and Logic books are great---I have parenting and the parenting teens with love and logic!! Foster Cline/the author is fantastic!
We are here for you, CCBB, you will get thru it

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[1305]
Sep 12

@ccbb
Being a first time mom is a challenging job and you deserve credit for the work that you do!

I can relate to your situation...I was a first time mom at 19 and I did everything for my daughter for the first 1 - 1/2. It was great in the beginning but somewhere in between 12-18 months I was no longer ok with the situation I had created. In fact, I was driven to tears when I decided that it was time for her to sleep in her crib and no longer on my chest. She cried and screamed for what seemed like hours. Perhaps I cried more than she did because she was relentless and let's be honest I was 19 and a first time mom who thought that she could do it all.
Only you can determine what is best for your baby and you.
In my experience when I let go of the control (because that is what it is) she and I were much more content, at peace, and I was a better mother because of it.
My mother was happy to help, I enrolled her in childcare where she was able to socialize/learn/and I was able to form a life too (Work and school but it was what I needed).
Discipline is a very important part of parenting (my girls are now 20 & 22, yes I had another) but must be done in love. We are not able to discipline in love when we exhaust ourselves. Instead we release our anger in what we perceive as discipline and it is very unhealthy.
Take heart, your daughter will not remember any of this and you are not a bad parent sweetheart, not at all, you are just learning with her. Good for you for reaching out for support and being open to gleaning from others experiences.

Yes!!! PRAY in all situations. Surrender to God's gift of discernment so that you can make the positive changes needed for a healthier relationship with your precious baby!

We are here for you!

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[210]
Sep 13

Dear ccbb,

You received some great response to your post but most of all you have some great responsive and caring Moms out there who are giving out great advice. Know most of all that you are normal. You are a great Mom and you can do this. This first child learns to be flexible because they have to put up with our learning curve development. But then each child that comes along is different so you adapt some more. I have 5 grown children, 8 grands and 2 great grands I am still adapting for each one. I have also been a group home parent and that really taught me a lot. This Mom thing is a depend-on-God-thing from the get-go. He made us to do this job and it is the GREATEST JOB IN THE WORLD. Give yourself some room and relax and enjoy. I remember spanking my 13 year old number 5 boy and still regret it. But he had pushed till enough was enough.

Children will push you till you set them on course. They just naturally desire order, safety and most of all love. A flexible schedule gives everyone something to depend on. You are a sensitive, loving Mom and you just need to give yourself a little leeway to work out your Mom-hood. But understand once you have things worked out they will change. This is a developmental task and God will guide. I am praying for you. You go MOM.

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