This week's Brilliant New Topic: Happy Tears, Sad Tears, Tears abound in 2020!

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I'm pissed off, tired, and ready to get back to normal, or a

I'm pissed off, tired, and ready to get back to normal, or at least feeling normal, with no more random crying and panicking sneaking up on me. It's been two weeks since I miscarried, around a month since I found out it was a missed miscarriage. I have already cried for the life lost, prayed, and passed that phase. Now I'm finding myself turning around once or twice a week and falling into this huge pit of sorrow and I can't climb back out for a couple days. Normally everything is ok, I'm mostly happy and feel fine. Yesterday was the last baby/miscarriage related appointment and I just lost it. I wanted to scream, holler, cuss, fight and wail. i settled for a short cry in my car after, and crying myself to sleep at bedtime. my husband is amazing and would do anything i asked, even if he had to come home from work, but I can't bring myself to let him do that. To stop the world for me, who just wants to feel normal again. It's not like I don't remember, or want to remember, that I was pregnant, I just want to remember without feeling like i'm dying all over again. I just want to be passed the grieving and be able to move forward, maybe try for another baby. a new baby wouldn't make up for the one I lost, but **** if I wouldn't feel like a failure, even though it wasn't my fault. I did everything right, by the book. and now I feel stuck, like the world is ending and i'm never going to get out. And i'm sick of it, tired, no water left to squeeze out, but it still keeps coming. I trust God that He has a plan and its a good plan, but i am having such an issue being patient. I ready to stop hurting already.

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[640]
Oct 16

Oh how I can relate. This is an experience you didn’t ask for and would like to be over. Painful as it is you must go through the grief of the loss. It was not your fault that you had this precious child for such a short time. God does have you in His hand, He does care. He has blessed you with a wonderful husband, who is probably experiencing his own pain, especially not being able to bring you the comfort he longs to bring to you. Please go to allaboutGod.com/miscarriage and read about my reckoning with miscarriage. I wrote it to bring hope to those who have been racked by miscarriage. Please seek help if you need more. Here is a list at https://bit.ly/357weRk you can check out for resources and or to help you find a counselor to help you process and work thru this tragedy. I am praying for you and your husband. God loves you, He is listening and ready to comfort you when you are able to accept it. I pray that you will feel His loving arms around you and dry your tears. I seemed for me that the tears washed away some of my pain. God bless you and keep you in His care.

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[2655]
Oct 16

Hi- I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. Please give yourself time to grieve. Cry when you need to.

I have a friend who had a stillbirth and that’s her first baby. I was with her when she was in the grieving process and it was also difficult for me to see my friend going through that sorrow. After another year she got pregnant again.

Yes, God has a plan. When we were trying to get pregnant, I was so impatient. We tried for 2 years with the help of medical treatments. I got pregnant but I had bleeding during the 20th week and 32nd week. I was so scared and worried. God gave us my only child in His perfect timing.

If you think you need professional counselling, please do so. A support group would be helpful as well. I pray for comfort as you go through this difficult time. Please keep us posted. Take care of yourself.

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[30]
Oct 19

Hi all, thanks so much for your support. I really do appreciate it. I know it's going to be a process, and some days I'll be fine and others I'm going to have a hard time. Its frustrating to loose a baby and then think you're doing better than you are. I just found out that my cousin is adopting her stepdaughter's newborn because the stepdaughter doesn't want anything to do with the baby (drug addict and other issues). the baby is super pre-me, and I find myself thinking, I'd take a drug addicted, severely premature little baby over having lost my pregnancy, any day, any time, any where. its frustrating to know that there are women out there that do not want their baby, and who do not do anything ( i assume because i'm mad about it) to take care of that baby pre-birth, and in fact drink and smoke and do drugs and all that crap, and still bare a baby and then abandon it, and I did everything I could think of and followed all the instructions i was given, wanted the baby so badly, and I still lost my baby. It hurts knowing that can happen. knowing that my baby was loved and wanted and still passed away prematurely, but that little baby was not wanted or loved and still got thrown into this stupid cruel unyielding world. ugh! so frustrated.

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