I’m just having a really hard time. I lost my first ever b

I’m just having a really hard time. I lost my first ever baby in may 2021. I had a 6 week ultrasound and at my 8 week the baby hadn’t grown any and no heart beat. A week later I started bleeding and declared miscarried. This September 2021 I found out I was pregnant again and after many back and fourth of if I had miscarried or not after 6 weeks again more bleeding and declared miscarried. One of my best friends had also found out she was pregnant in September at the same time I had and now my best friend since elementary school is also pregnant and didn’t even want kids yet and as much as I wish I was excited I’m not, I’m angry and jealous, two emotions I never imagined I would feel when I imagine is growing up and having kids of our own. I’m angry with god and I want to know why take my babies then shove the 2 people Im closest to in my face and pregnant.

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 3
(26350)
Nov 23

I’m so sorry. It is heartbreaking to deal with so much loss and then beyond maddening and frustrating to have to face that your two best friends are going to have babies. We are here for you and we all care
Do you have a church you belong to? There is so much love and support and comfort (usually) in church. You definitely need support and to grieve your lost babies. What does your ob/gyn say about two miscarriages or if the doc may know why they happened? And is your husband supportive?
(I’ve been angry with God before also. He understands…I’ll say a prayer you find comfort and peace as you work thru this journey to motherhood.)
Pls know we at SG see all here for you (people are online at varying times of day and the holidays mix in with that as well)
Hugs

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Littleturtle1000's picture

I'm very sorry. I know the feelings very well. It's normal for you to be feeling everything that you're feeling. Give yourself time away from others and allow yourself time to grieve. You and your friend are in the age range when many women get pregnant that's part of life. It just happens that she got pregnant close to the same time. You will see other expecting mothers out at the stores here and there so give yourself reminders that it's going to happen. Life is really sad sometimes. Take good care of yourself do nice things for yourself ok.

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(20)
Nov 23

@NCMom I currently don’t belong to a church but I have one in mind that o think I’m going to go check out this Sunday. I don’t want to always be this sad and hurting. I usually can put on a strong act and fake my way through it but this time I’m really struggling anf I haven’t been able to break it yet. I want to be excited for them and about their babies but I’m just not and I’m hoping it will come with time. My husband isn’t a super emotional person he internalizes or distracts so i find myself rarely turning to him for emotional support, I need to work on that too.

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