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I feel weird seeking comfort from strangers, but I’m at a

I feel weird seeking comfort from strangers, but I’m at a point, I don’t know what else to do. I’m 30 years old, and on Labor Day I found out I was expecting my first baby. My boyfriend and I were shocked, but excited. I found out really early (probably 4 weeks), and lost the baby at 9 weeks. I’m lost, and broken, and feel a constant pain. It’s been a month (as of yesterday) that the miscarriage happened, and I feel like I’m just stuck. I can’t get past it. I think about the memories I dont get to create, the baby snuggles I don’t get to have, everything that hurts the worst- that’s where my mind always goes to. I just need...I don’t really know- maybe encouragement, comfort, others experiences? Will this pain surpass?

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[30]
Nov 9

I’m sorry for your loss, and hopeful to hear eventually it might not be a constant thought. I didn’t get closure. I don’t know how to get closure really, but I think that would be a good step forward.

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[104790]
Nov 9

@BrittanyES, it is easy to overlook the idea we need to say goodbye to an embryo or fetus baby because they're not as developed as an older person who died. For loved ones, we have funerals. If the baby was born we would have had some sort of funeral to say goodbye and grieve. I felt for my baby, whom I believe was a live person I love and wanted to welcome into our family, I needed that closure. But just because I did it my way, doesn't mean someone else wouldn't do it another way. Writing a letter or poem, burying something that belonged to the baby, praying you'll see that person some day... I can think of many ways to say goodbye. What's most important to me, is that you get the closure you need, regardless of how long you need to grieve over the loss because sometimes closure can be helpful to a person grieving in their healing process.

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[1225]
Nov 9

I am so sorry for your loss. I know how heartbreaking and devastating that is. I have been there myself. You are going through the grief process. You had a huge loss. It's normal to feel the way that you do. Realizing all that I was going to miss out on with the little one that I lost was definitely the hardest about it. We start planning and dreaming as soon as we find out we are pregnant and then all those dreams and plans are shattered! Allow yourself to grieve. It's ok to be sad, angry, bitter etc. The grieving process is different for all of us as is the time. It took me an entire year to grieve. It's been several years since my loss, but it does still effect me to this day, especially around the time I lost her. I'm not sure that you ever totally get over it, but the pain does ease in time. I don't know your spiritual beliefs, but I will be praying for peace, comfort, and healing for you!

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