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I've never done anything like this before, but the stress an

I've never done anything like this before, but the stress and isolation of this pandemic have really worn me out. I had worked very hard to get my life together in recent years after changing careers, relocating, surviving and exiting a toxic relationship and coping with a lot of loss. I had finally begun to make progress with reestablishing myself and feeling happy and satisfied in my life, then this pandemic hit like a wrecking ball and derailed everything I'd worked for. I know I'm luckier than many and this time has not been easy for anyone, but I feel so lost and anxious right now. I feel alone and challenged by stressful decisions I have to make regarding going back to work, finances, helping my family etc. More than anything I feel so frustrated that for all the effort I've put into improving my life, I've lost nearly all of my progress in the span of a couple of months. Also, I haven't been able to open up to anyone since my last relationship ended and in times like these when it's so clear that love and compassion and companionship are more important than so many other superficial goals, I feel hyperaware of how much resistance I've had to forming new relationships in recent years. It's like the trauma of past experiences has changed me and now I'm locked up and standoffish in a way I didn't use to be. I'm not sure how to get back to 'having a spark' and feeling optimistic about love connections. My work always surrounded me with people and allowed me to be helpful and caring and it brought lots of stimulating conversations into my daily life. I've been without that since mid-March and I feel much lonelier than usual plus I feel like I'm just sitting out life on the sidelines and I miss feeling busy and helpful. I have so much pent up stress, tonight I just wanted to try dumping some words on a public page to let out some stress in a way that doesn't exacerbate the sense of distance and isolation that is already so omnipresent in my current situation. Thank you to everyone here for providing a sense of community.

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Comment
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[1915]
May 23

Hello,
Everyone is affected by the pandemic. It was also hard for me in the first few days of lock down. I was scared and worried about what will happen to me and to my family. I prayed and I told God about all my fears and worries. I sing worship songs. It was not immediate but I was able to experience God’s peace.

Please stay strong. We will all get through this isolation by God’s help. Stay in the forum. Vent if you need to. We are all here for each other. I hope you will find comfort here. Try to do things that you will enjoy. Even a short walk outside your house will make a big difference. Wear your mask and practice social distancing.

Keep us posted. God bless.

Reply
[-20]
May 23

Thank you so much for responding and welcoming me to the forum! That's so kind of you and truly appreciated. I agree, every small act of self care and resilience helps tremendously. I hope you stay safe and continue to find peace throughout this difficult time.

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