I'm afraid I'm putting myself into bad relationships just be

KartoffelWal's picture
[735]

I'm afraid I'm putting myself into bad relationships just because of the fact that I don't have friends. I'm afraid I'm subconsciously desperate, so I'm just becoming friends with anyone I have an opportunity to be friends with...

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 3
[5935]
Jan 12

I think a lot of people end up doing this... No matter how comfortable you can find yourself feeling when alone, being lonely because you don't have anyone close to talk with can cause an air of desperation and hopelessness. We are all social creatures after all, so to not have that option in your life of turning to someone when either of you need that interaction can be quite depressing. It seems the most common reason that people leap into friendships or relationships as quickly as they can, while volunteering as much about themselves in as short an amount of time as possible, is in an attempt to get back what they've lost from someone else, a previous close friendship or relationship. It can take such a long time to build up a trust with someone, to feel that someone will there be with you always, and to feel truly comfortable around them, that a lot of people try to short-cut the journey to that point. Of course it never ends well if you do, so then it starts creating an endless cycle of disappointment and loneliness. Unless you realise what's happening -as you both have- then you have a chance to build something stronger, just more slowly than you'd probably like.

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Iniwan's picture
[1690]
Jan 13

It's okay to try to be friends with anyone when opportunity arises. It's fun. Just take things a little slower if you have issues.
And you know people are just people, don't put them on pedestal.

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Lillyfield's picture
[460]
Jan 19

I agree wholeheartedly with @FoxEye. I've hit that point myself, but if you truly want the best self care you have to first do thing that are kind to you. Then that energy and people will see that selfcare in you and return that same energy. It's hard, but you seeing this cycle and partner makes it easier to change. Try something different than your norm when starting relationships or friends. Being here is a great start.

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