I was just going to share that I am really sad and scared of

LollyNews's picture
(71705)

I was just going to share that I am really sad and scared of the loneliness and isolation I’m in. I don’t have a friend in the world. I’m confused ,lost and tired of playing this game.
How much more can I do? I try and I am just tired of it all.
What do people want from me? I’m nice. I care. I do my best. And what do I get? Rejected! [email protected] on!

I think I deserve more respect. It does suck to see the few lucky ones in the world who have love! Have friends and life is good.
And then , when I get on here, I’m reminded of how rare that is. Maybe a few friends and a bad relationship is the most common. And so many have no friends.
When I was growing up I had so many friends. Right after high school with her dating this guy was a loaner at the time. And somehow all of my friends became his friends. I stopped hanging out with my family to go spend time with his family. And seven years later when we broke up all of my friends were gone. Stop going to his families house obviously. It was awkward to be around my weird family again. So that’s what started it all. Next thing you know I’m just moving around all the time changing jobs changing apartments. Friends don’t last. And being out here in the country is just The icing on the cake. I want to leave here but I accumulated three little Chihuahuas. I can’t get rid of them. So I have to drive them with me which means I have to find places to walk them often. That’s a pain in the *** but it might come down to that because I have to get out of here and find a new life.

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LollyNews's picture
(71705)
Jul 20

@CKBlossom hi. You know after I poured my heart out here and had a few cries to God, everything turned around quickly and I felt a lot better. I’ve reached out a lot online to different sources and I’m still making that effort because I need more support. I love this site and will continue. And I also need some closer resources. So I was on the next door app which gives you your neighbors. And some other places. And I’m definitely feeling better. I hate when this happens to me but it does every now and then because of the isolation. So it’s a lot of work to stay connected. Because like I said before, it doesn’t happen often because I have a lot of projects. But when I am isolated doing these projects, I’m not connected with a support group when I need it. Going to church is something that I need to do. And they close the churches? That was going to far. And now I have to try to get into a church. I’m going to get into a church. I have one in mind right now and will see how it goes.

And yes. I’ve reached out to a lot of nomads that do this life. Some travel a lot and some stay in one area. Some do it solo and some travel in groups. They’re all ages. It’s a really cool community and I like that as well. I am going to make a few friends that are my people that I can have for life.
We all need love. It doesn’t have to be intimate romantic love for me anymore because I’ve had it. It’s about a community of people who are just helping each other and loving each other as human beings. . Kind, positive vibes ... And if.. in the process, I stumble across some perfect human that I end up being intimate with, LOL… Then that would be the cherry on top I guess. I’m very sensitive and being intimate is something I need a lot of trust to do at this point.

How are you doing?

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LollyNews's picture
(71705)
Jul 20

@pink318 thank you for the prayers and it really helped. After going through this, I bounced back and feel better now. I love God and I need to stay focused on more prayer time. Reach out more. Keep my spirits up with a positive vibes that I get from singing , music (I write songs with the lyrics and melody) and being creative.

Just wrote a song called I surrender. Sang that the last few days and I think that started the healing process as well.

I am going to put it to piano and record it. I might share it here on a video one day.

How are you doing?

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LollyNews's picture
(71705)
Jul 20

@pam4him I am feeling better. Thank you so much.

How are you doing tonight?

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