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Hurting hard. Just finished talking with my wife who I love

How I feel tonight. . . ** Completely and utterly dejected and used ** . . . ** I feel like absolute trash.

My wife and I just had sex, she has incredible power over me, I am way to attracted to her... Right after she orgasmed, she got up went to the bathroom and cleaned her self. I went to the kitchen to get a glass of water and when she finished she found my bathrobe and gave it to me, and said goodnight...
****
My heart fell through the floor, to the basement and is still falling. I told her I was hoping for at least some cuddles, but she told me she was tired and need sleep, and not to make her feel bad for giving me love...
****
Am I insane? Should I be over the moon that my gorgeous wife just made love to me, and just happily go to our separate rooms after orgasm? Am I expecting too much? I had to suck it up, and smile and thank her for being so loving, or she was going to rub it in my face that I was not grateful. Maybe she is right, there is something wrong with me mentally. I can't believe how sick I am feeling though, disgusted. Like toilet paper.
****
Am I mad? Because I feel like I am going a little insane.

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Hurting hard. Just finished talking with my wife who I love and adore, but who does not like sleeping with me. She can't understand why I make everything seem weird. Her point of view, is that she gets tired at the end of the day, and does not want to deal with me after she has put the girls to bed. It's like a dagger in my heart. She is a light sleeper, so I have agreed to sleep in the basement so she can get a good night sleep. It's that or she wakes up mad at me for waking her up in the middle of the night. She is very loving, makes my lunch every day, takes care of our beautiful girls and tells me she really really loves me and asks me why I would ever doubt that. I feel like I am going insane, maybe it's all in my head. I am going to a councillor now, and it does help having someone listen to me and acknowledge my feelings, even though I understand it's their job, for 1 day a week I feel like maybe I am not an undesirable man. I realize I am not a perfect husband, that I make mistakes, but I don't understand how it can only just be me. How can my wife be happy with the way we are living. She says I just need to get back to the way it was, but I don't understand what that is anymore. Her idea of physical intimacy is allowing me to rub her back with all her clothes on, and hugging for a few seconds. Some how wanting to do the same thing next night is way too much, like I am expecting way to much from her. Honestly I am going bonkers. I am lonely and hurt and she has the girls all day while I am at work under big stresses so that I can give all my girls any opportunity they wish. I don't want to break up or divorce, I love my girls and my wife very much. I bring home flowers every week. Take them out on excursions once or twice a week for fun. Go doing things that I never would have dreamed of being able to do as a child with my kids. I can do all these things and maybe get one brief kiss on the lips. And when I show my beautiful wife I desire her, I respect her, I want to love her... she makes me feel like there is something wrong with me to expect anything else from her. I am fiercely loyal, but I don't think my sanity can take it anymore. I feel like some how I am poison, undesirable, a miscreant to my wife, and it's killing my heart.

so yah that's how I am feeling right now. pretty low and lonely.

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[280]
May 14

@AllIWanted Maybe I am a too romantic. Maybe none of the things I do for her register anymore, flowers, special coffees, fine dark chocolates, making sure she gets a nice surprise gift every month, tell her in text how beautiful she is, how I would do anything for her... maybe she just does not need that from me, maybe I am just a tool, and it is taking me far to long to realize it.

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Victoria65's picture
[495]
May 16

So sorry for what ur going through. Did u ask her to go to counseling? Tell her you want to make things right and if she does too she has to be willing to meet u half way.

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[280]
May 16

@Victoria65 Yes, I have asked her. She refuses. I suppose she expects a quick fix from it, instead of the journey it takes. I can not handle any more 1 night stands with my wife. I want that feeling of togetherness afterwards, not the functional satisfaction of sex.

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