Life is a struggle when your spouse has so many health issue

breakingsteel's picture
[3240]

Life is a struggle when your spouse has so many health issues. You get painted the bad guy and nothing you do ever feels appriciated. Instead he lies to you to cover up not doing what's right and you are always accused as being the nag. But at the same time all of the responsibility falls on you. Life is not fun with him anymore. You just become the care giver. Reminding constantly, take your med, put on your c pap, check to see if he breathing. I only get a good night's sleep when I'm awsy from him. But when I am, he screws up his meds and doesn't eat right. I am expected to fix it. I am expected to do alot!!! I handle finaces, I plan meals, I decide what we do. Honestly he is only concerned with eatting and tv. Conversation only happens if I talk, most times I don't get a response. I tried couples councelling. But all she wanted to do was coddle him. Noone ever reminds me to take a pill. It's hard. You don't know what it's like waking thinking your spouse is dead. Spending more of your time in the er than anything else. You hear him drop a shampoo bottle and you run to see if he fell. He gets up for work having asthma trouble and you check to make sure he is not laying on the living room floor. That's happened too. It's a rough life. Right now there's no funds to even leave. If I did he would let himself go. It's like I'm screaming and Noone hears me. I talked to him a million times, it's like a wall. It feels like my life is a prison sentence. So, I an venting tonight, because it's a bad time and everything gets done tomorrow, when it can't wait til tomorrow I get called a nag. It's called responsibility, be a man. I miss having a man show me love. It's lonely. Thanks for listening. Going to try to sleep some now.

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breakingsteel's picture
[3240]
Oct 16

@Amy, that's EXACTLY how I feel !

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Overit86's picture
[3010]
Oct 16

@breakingsteel I just wanted to ask you if you do realize that you deserve love and care too?Just because your husband has health issues doesnt give him an exclusive in this area and of course you already know that the only person who is going to Love and care for you the best is yourself.Im not saying that husbands,family and friends dont Love us but there is a fundamental lesson to be learned when we are getting run down,depressed,so lonely after taking care of the needs of others we realize that its up to us to do really complete conscientous self love and care and that this is what can sustain us through some very long hard times so please stop a moment and really take care of your mental and physical health you are an intelligent lady and I really believe from reading your posts you can accomplish this for yourself even while still being "mommy" to your husband.Please be well and keep us updated !

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breakingsteel's picture
[3240]
Oct 16

@ Overit86 , Thank you. I do take time for myself. I plan trips with girlfriends. From day trips to week trips plus my daughter and I do day stuff together. My husband knows I need time awsy and knows he can't stop me so he says nothing if it bothers him. I told him I need me time, I need a break from the constant worry he puts me threw daily. I just wish he didn't put everything on me. If he misses work and shorts our pay, he is not worried because he knows I will find a way to fix it. He has no desire to. Yes, I have voiced all of this to him but he's like a child it goes in one ear and out the other. Last night I woke 3 times to tell him to put on his cpap mask. I also told him that I two woyld like a full nights sleep but he is not taking the responsibility to wear his own mask that he is making it my responsibility! After that he wore it all night but, I still know I have to check. It's frustrsting. When I'm away, I can sleep worry free ! As I am going to attempt now. Atleast we sleep in separate beds. :) cpap is on.... let's see how many times I have to tell him tonight. Since he can't be trusted to do this . I tell him all the time man up !
Night all ♡♡

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