Life is a struggle when your spouse has so many health issue

breakingsteel's picture
[3265]

Life is a struggle when your spouse has so many health issues. You get painted the bad guy and nothing you do ever feels appriciated. Instead he lies to you to cover up not doing what's right and you are always accused as being the nag. But at the same time all of the responsibility falls on you. Life is not fun with him anymore. You just become the care giver. Reminding constantly, take your med, put on your c pap, check to see if he breathing. I only get a good night's sleep when I'm awsy from him. But when I am, he screws up his meds and doesn't eat right. I am expected to fix it. I am expected to do alot!!! I handle finaces, I plan meals, I decide what we do. Honestly he is only concerned with eatting and tv. Conversation only happens if I talk, most times I don't get a response. I tried couples councelling. But all she wanted to do was coddle him. Noone ever reminds me to take a pill. It's hard. You don't know what it's like waking thinking your spouse is dead. Spending more of your time in the er than anything else. You hear him drop a shampoo bottle and you run to see if he fell. He gets up for work having asthma trouble and you check to make sure he is not laying on the living room floor. That's happened too. It's a rough life. Right now there's no funds to even leave. If I did he would let himself go. It's like I'm screaming and Noone hears me. I talked to him a million times, it's like a wall. It feels like my life is a prison sentence. So, I an venting tonight, because it's a bad time and everything gets done tomorrow, when it can't wait til tomorrow I get called a nag. It's called responsibility, be a man. I miss having a man show me love. It's lonely. Thanks for listening. Going to try to sleep some now.

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[2215]
Oct 21

breaking steel, The world needs more compassion. Same as other poster above.

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breakingsteel's picture
[3265]
Oct 29

Just checking in, thank you all for sharing. It does help to know it's not just you ! Each day is a worry,, you just never know what's coming. You just know it's coming. Here the cpap is still a struggle due to sinus congestion that just won't go away for him. We been on all the different meds, seen a allergy doctor and a ear nose and throat doctor in the past. Next week we go back to the doctor and start all over to figure this out. If he can't dry up his head it trickles to his already weak lungs and boom. Infections and pneumonia again with even more sleepless nights. This cold rainy weather does not help matters. I pray and I pray for him to get better and I wait. Sad that this is our normal. I'm a happy fun loving girl who just doesn't have much fun anymore. I am the doctor on call and the ceo of this house. Just the other day, he was sleeping on the couch. I saw someone stop in front of our house. I went to wake him and BAM he was in distress I had to hurry and get him on the nebulizer and keep asking him if he was with me. By this time the car was gone. Not knowing who or why they stopped. It happens just that fast and you know. The thought runs threw my mind everytime. If I wasn't hear at that moment would he have died? This is what keeps me up at night. This is what keeps me on guard and it's hell. 24/7. U don't know how mentally exhausting it can be . It's a scary life.

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breakingsteel's picture
[3265]
Nov 1

More of the same.... er again today. Breathing issues. now his sugar is high, coughing, all in time to go to bed. I can't help but get so frustrated with him.... having to mother him. Why can't he take care of himself? He knows the signs, the triggers. And I'm so sick of hearing I don't know. Yes you do know. I don't like that I get so upset at his stupidness but how many times do I have to say things that fall on deaf ears ! It feels like his asthma, depression, diabetes are running our lives. Those are his worst diseases but he has more. No cpap tonight and I don't even care anymore. If I have to tell him every night 3 to 4 times during the night I'm done. I can't constantly keep it up. If he wants to feel like crap don't wear it. I need sleep too. I'm trying to realize I can't be there every second. He will or he won't it's his choice. What a grown child I have for a husband. I told him, it's not my fault you can't do things in the cold weather but I'm going to make plans with my kids and not feel guilty about it and he best not try to make me feel guilty or he best not get mad. It's not my fault. He said he knows. Maybe if he did the right things he would feel better.
Ok, done venting, going to try to sleep. Wish me luck.

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