Hey all! To HELL with relationships & love & getting all in

TheRainbow's picture
[36805]

Hey all! To HELL with relationships & love & getting all in your feelings. You're so bound to get hurt when you're vulnerable & not in charge of your feelings.

I met a guy online. In the beginning, he said he wanted to be good friends. I asked if he was looking for platonic friend or friends with benefits. He finally admitted, friends with benefits.

Surprisingly, his personality blew me away. His personality is so hard not to love; caring, kind, thoughtful & affectionate.

He admitted he has a fiance but he is having second thoughts because she is unable to have sex due to medical reasons.

Im well aware of the fact tht if he's cheating on his girl with me, he's cheating with others.

He took me out Saturday night & he was so amazingly affectionate. He made me feel so special. The more time I spent time with him, the harder I started to fall for him.

I told him my son was sick & he gave me money & asked me to get his medication. I didnt expect him to care.

I just got so emotionally attached to him so quickly. Then I started to feel sad & anxious when I realized he was texting me less & less. I had to remind myself that he has a girl AND he was still very active on this site where I met him.

But today I snapped out of it because I assured myself that if he's cheating on his gf, he's seeing other girls. And I realized that the whole situation was consuming me. So I have NOW decided to wear him VERY loosely. If he calls or text so be it...if he doesnt..so be it. This modern dating scence is ALL about fun & pleasure from what I observed.

I see the commonalities. He's a lot of fun to hang out with, the sex is good, but I MUST GUARD my heart in this game called life. I WILL NOT get emotionally crushed.

So..I've embedded in my brain tht this dating thing is all a game. Nice guys will finish last. Know the person in order to make the right moves.

It has NOTHING to do with love. By the way...there is NO SUCH THING AS LOVE. It's all about fun & pleasure.

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DravenRayne's picture
[705]
Nov 14

@Hopeful_100 Thats the hard part you have to be willing to look at all parts of your self both the good and the bad (In my case it was hard for me to look at the good things). You have to be able to take an accurate self inventory (easier to do with the help of an impartial party aka therapist, sponsor, or advisor). Then with the accurate self appraisal you have to be willing to accept yourself in the entirety good bad or indifferent. Then see which areas you would like to change and begin to work on improving them so that you can become more and more comfortable with who you are. Mind you none of that is easy, in fact it can be incredibly painful at times...

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[80]
Nov 14

@Ellora Yes !! Thank you for your support.

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TheRainbow's picture
[36805]
Nov 19

@AnaLeigh Yea I was in love before.

Conditions always seems to be attached tho.

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