i need help. i need to develop assertive communication skill

i need help. i need to develop assertive communication skills. i also need better self esteem. i don't know how to stand up for myself anymore. it's taken a long time to just reach this point of figuring that out, and acknowledging it.

i had early exposure to pornography at age 10, and i was sexually harassed by strangers online at age 11. i was sexually harassed by my first manager at my first job when i was 18. i was raped and stalked between ages 20-22 in college by the same man. i was raped again in a relationship at age 26. i was raped and kidnapped by a man at age 27-28. i lost my self confidence entirely, and when i am spoken to in a less than respectful way, i don't even have the words to say anything back. i don't even feel angry or any sort of retaliatory feelings. i just accept it. it is very hard for me to trust, and i feel very alone and isolated. i've become a bit of a workaholic, and in the process my body got wrecked from working too much. my therapists have been useless in helping me in this area. they just comment "you feel worthless." "you think you're worthless". and they don't do anything to help build it. i am pretty desperate. i am seeking help - i would love local help to where i am - but at this point i don't care where the help comes from - that's why i looked for an online support group... maybe you guys are further along than me...

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@needhelp007 Hi! Thank you. I am open to hearing your advice!

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[700]
May 20

I strongly recommend looking into BJJ from the Gracie family. This will definitely help you feel and know you can stand up for yourself.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pndPbpHLpos

http://www.gracieacademy.com/women_empowered.asp

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@needhelp007 Thank you for sending me resources. I appreciate it! :D Thank you, internet neighbor! :D

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