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I'm having a paranioa epidsode. It was triggered by the way

I'm having a paranioa epidsode. It was triggered by the way my father in law behaves. Trust me , he constantly pretends like he is in stealth mode and hiding something.For an example, when he talks to my spouse he lowers his voice so I can't hear and acts all dramatic when i walk near or call him out.. Anyways, if you'd like to know where my head is keep reading

.Another trigger is hormonal fluctuations. My breast have been tender so I know I'm fluctuating.

Ok, here I go. Right now, my mind making me feel my father in law is going to set the house on fire as I sleep.. Here's how this thought came to be; After being triggered a few times with my father in laws secretive behaviors...he asked me about mowing the backyard. My mind took this one phrase and flipped it 100 times. Now I feel that he really means he wants to set the backyard on fire. Idk. But. i do. Its not logical yet I will sit up all night tonight checking my cameras so I don't burn alive. The fear is real and the thoughts feel legit....its a whirl pool in my head during these episodes. I hate it. Typically, I think I'm going to be killed. One epidsode, I thought someone put a bomb under my car and driving would activate the explosive device. I sat frozen for an hour, terrified.

This is one issue that compresses toxic and abusive relationships in my life. Because I have these thoughts, I cant trust myself.

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Mar 15

@The_wolf_n_my_herd no matter what you can keep your current coping strategies but if you have never been formally diagnosed how do you know that the Dr won't have some good coping strategies to add to the ones you already Have? And, if you don't like other coping methods you don't have to use the ones you don't like that's up to you. But as it stands now you are lying awake worrying about being burned alive so you have nothing to lose by trying professional help Right? So far you are terrified a lot of times so it sounds like you need help .


@NS100 I have some odd delusions at least a couple times a week. However. parinioa episodes that leave me awake or afraid happens about every three months but the episode of feeling suspicious can last for a week (being crippled by fear is rare..most of the times I'm high functioning). But. Yes.

Yet the two times I've gone - just starting at the basics was over whelming for both.One couldn't figure out what to do for me. And the other cried. Is it pricey to get help from someone with exceptional experience? I have no insurance.

I need to cut to the chase and deal with my mental state. Idk, could I write all my connections down before hand and just fast forward?

Mar 16

@The_wolf_n_my_herd what do you mean by your question.."could I write all my connections down before hand and just fast forward"? Are you talking about writing things down before you see a Dr? What do you mean by connections? You must not of seen a psychiatrist either of those two times because a psychiatrist will evaluate you and do what they need to do to give you a professional diagnoses. A M.D. will not be able to diagnose you, but they should however refer you to a psychiatrist for proper treatment or at the very least advise you to to see one. Some hospitals have a psychiatrist so you could possibly ask the hospital if they have a charity form. Also you could call 211 it's a free service that helps you find resources in your area so they might be able to find mental health help places that use a sliding scale and will go by a person's income.


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