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I think the hardest thing to deal with in being lonely is th

Writeaway's picture
[975]

I think the hardest thing to deal with in being lonely is the silence that surrounds me at night. Despite having the TV on or music playing when I'm home, there is a lingering stillness in the air that is not the peaceful quiet of being alone by choice. My ears yearn to hear my voice rather than my thoughts in conversation and my eyes stare at the empty social spaces in my house. Hallmark movies are a good distraction, but food is what gets me through the sometimes unnerving lull from evening to bedtime. Activities can only do so much though. There's no replacement for a connection with an actual person. Unfortunately, "connection" doesn't mean what it used to. Nowadays, it seems to be code for "I want sex" which is definitely not what I'm looking for to break the sound barrier. For this reason, I simply sigh and endure until I go to bed. In the morning everything is always bright--and filled with glorious sound.

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Writeaway's picture
[975]
Aug 7

@BluePill2RedPill Thank you for the praise on my post. I agree that nowadays there is a sickness in our society that is perpetuated by our own advancement. Technology both brings us together and keeps us isolated. Life is becoming so filtered that interaction face-to-face is becoming the awkward exception. Facebook is where our tribes can be found and we know their eating habits, where they go, and what they are doing or feeling. This constitutes being connected. In the words of the little mermaid Ariel, "I want more..."

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[2170]
Aug 13

Sorry my post is a little late. I too have felt what you feel though to an outsider they may not understand since I have a very busy life and a house full of noise (most of the time). I have a daughter who went away to college and has graduated and returned home. She is either working or hanging with her friends most of the time, so I hardly ever see her. My two youngest kids are in high school and stay busy with their sports activities and friends and pretty soon school will start up and that will eat up both our time. I had a husband but he chose his career over his family so he is not living with us anymore. There are days I am so busy with work, kids, school, etc that I can't wait to crawl into my bed and shut my eyes. Then there are those days when I am on vacay with my kids and I feel something is missing no matter how hard I try to block it out. Its that intimate relationship I miss. I agree with you, its not about sex. Its about connecting with someone on a deeper level. Sharing your dreams, your thoughts, your desires, having fun, laughing, playing with someone who enjoys spending as much time with you as you do with them. There are groups that you can join based on hobbies and interests that could help but I'm so selective in who I spend my valuable time with that I keep to myself. My ideal day is to wake up in the morning, sit in my rocking chair on my front porch over looking a lake, sipping my latte and enjoying nature. I'm an introvert so for me i need those moments of select isolation to refuel and renew my mind. If you want more, what's stopping you from getting it? I'm putting some things in the works to get my lake house. What are some things you can work on to develop the kind of relationships you want to have?

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Writeaway's picture
[975]
Aug 13

@momonthego I tried online dating to try and meet people and went on a few dates, but the focus no matter what the profile says is sex, so I gave that up. I am on Meetup and have found some groups I like, I just haven't actively pursued joining in on any of the activities. (That's mostly a money matter at the moment.) I also tried a few chat sites just to have people to talk to, but again, it doesn't take long for the conversation to turn to sex. People are obsessed with sex it seems. I thought that since I'm older I wouldn't have to deal too much with that, but boy was I wrong. It's just as prevalent with the men in my age group as it is for those in their 20s. I need someone more intellectual than sexual, so I try to socialize with other professors, readers or writers. I'd like to attend writers retreats and conventions etc. to connect with like-minded people, but again, those trips, as great as they are, involve $$. I'm setting aside a "Retreat Fund" so that I can plan to go to a retreat in the new year.

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