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I have an issue with stealing (never with from people or fri

I have an issue with stealing (never with from people or friends, only stores)
Iv’e always had a skewed idea about this since I was a kid. My first memory being when I was 5-6 I stole a small pice of jewelry. Not much happened after. (Couple of #2 pencils from early middle school (mom yelled at me and made me return)
Flash forward to middle school - my mom wasn’t making much money (suffering from depression). Somehow I was able to get certain things (a nice house, my own room, Electronics that were popular/ tho I put in my allowance) but don’t get me wrong—-she was struggling.
This is when it started. I would steal food from whole foods (I’d just walk out) I found it easy and my mom didn’t say anything. Or i’d Eat in the store and ditch it. We were hungry and I wanted good food. That’s how it started, it was fun and I was able to eat.
Than I stopped for awhile

And in high school it was on a different level (mom didn’t know) I would steal clothes small things like (makeup, jewelry, cloths) it was a small amount.... $100-$200 worth in all three years

well not too small. But nothing compared to senior year and the year after. I stole....ALOT:
-electronics costing $5-100 bucks (earphones,usb drives, one $100 item which was a portable photo printer, I sold it)
-Jewlery costing $5-$70
-Clothes (on a whole other scale) $20-$60 items
Mother didn’t know because I had just gotten my first job- she thought I was buying this stuff.

Within 2 years (senior in high and freshman in college) I had stollen over $2,000 worth of items...YES I made a spread sheet.

My mom was getting mad thinking I spent all that money.... so I told her I stole it instead....She was mad/disappointed — nothing major happened to me...BUT she tried her best to stay calm and help me through it. But I WANTED TO STOP.....and I DID.
3 years pass with only 10 small items a year tops (talking $1-$15 dollar items)....Yes I know...I still stole...but I think that was pretty good with no outside help, just me telling myself NO.

Until the last year something happened.
1. I don’t have a lot of money now after bills started coming up.
2. Moms depression started getting worst and stealing for so reason helps me forget my issues with everything
3. I get bored so easily....SOOO easily (with everything—-And I DO try new things.

I started stealing again...NOT the way I did those two bad years but enough to really concern me (about half as bad)

I have never been caught....But I don’t want to be in the future.
I’m confident in my skills but I AM NOT one of those that think they will could never be caught.
And I don’t want that. I know what it can do to future Job opportunities etc.

I need to find the motivation I did after freshman year college.

And I think I need this website to help me start

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Comment
 2
[3465]
Jan 24

Ok, this is a pretty established addiction. The truth is that you are good at this and it makes you feel good in many ways. These are hard addictions to break. I could throw out all of the usual advice on this but my gut tells me you will have a hard time until you find something legitimate that meets some of these needs. I am sure that you have tried to just stop without success. You can attempt to find a job / hobbies / sports / etc. to ween yourself from the control this has over you. You can also get a 12 step book and do it on your own if there are no appropriate groups near you.

Reply
[260]
Feb 11

I read this post and thought... OMG.. this is me... But in my case I even stole from friends and family. Little things like tie clips, and pens and knick nacks. But also higher price items from work. at first the stuff out of broken items I was repairing. But then even the new replacement parts. Most times I had the money to buy these items, but took them because in my mind something was saying just go ahead and grab it. No one will miss it. I even got caught once and said "THATS IT! I'm done doing this!" But in a few months my fear and shame left and I was back to taking things. Razors from the grocery store, coins off a friends bathroom counter.... I am soo broken I don't know how to fix me! Understanding that I am not alone is helping... but I know the road ahead is long and will be dark at times

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