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I’m 20 and have been stealing from my parents since I was

[10]

I’m 20 and have been stealing from my parents since I was 17. It got to the point where I had sold all of my mother’s gold jewelry. I would take anything I could to pawn shops. I’m scared of relapse because if I slip up once more I know I am going to jail and I will have to kill myself. I really need help. I’ve been going to therapy since I was about 15 and this has been eating me alive. For the most part I’m happy now except this weighs over me. I spend every dollar I get. I’m 20 with $0 in savings. I’m sick of being in debt to people and sick of hurting my family. I have hurt them too many times. They should have kicked me out long ago but haven’t given up on me, but when they found out I was stealing from their safe a while ago it was the last straw. One more slip up and it’s all over. CBT is recommended but there’s practically no treatment in my area for it. I barely get into my psychiatrist. Please, someone help me, I’m having a breakdown. I don’t want to die but I know there won’t be life for me if I do this again and I don’t want to disappoint my family any further. I feel hopeless.

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[21325]
Nov 8

Hi edvn, I'm sorry you're in such a desperate situation right now! It must feel unbearable. What a difficult situation - you want to stop hurting your family, but you are currently unable to stop stealing from them. You want CBT, but there's practically no treatment in your area. You wrote that you barely get into your psychiatrist - not clear what you meant by that. Is there anything you do that gives you a few minutes of serenity? Like slow breathing? Or yoga? Or walks in nature? Or singing? Or drawing? Is your psychiatrist helpful?

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