I think I have gone through jealousy my whole life I think i

I think I have gone through jealousy my whole life I think it has a lot to do with my self-esteem I suffer from mental illness borderline personality disorder panic attacks . but I’ve always had jealousy issues I look at people and I don’t understand how come they’re so happy and I’m not I get so jealous over that . the relationship my children have with my sister I’m jealous because they’re adults now but they rather be around her it kills me . I lost a husband drug drug overdose I left him before that he was not the best husband but I was madly in love with him I still miss him and he died and all I keep thinking about was the girl that he was with how jealous I am over that what is wrong with me? but I’m not thinking about how horrible he was to me and his addiction was overwhelming for me to live with why can I focus on that? but instead I’m jealous of the girl he was with before he died what the hell? at my job I feel jealous at times and I don’t know why because some of the people are so mean to me . I hate that I get jealous I hate it and I wish I could just have peace in my heart and have peace from suffering from all these different things. I just wanted to share.

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CKBlossom's picture
(495895)
Apr 9

I find that jealousy comes from discontentment, or simply not knowing how to proceed. You miss your ex, that is to be expected especially as he is dead and there is no closure. Do your kids prefer their Aunt or is she just incredibly fun? How do you think you can find some closure/acceptance?

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andine's picture
(52880)
Apr 13

Be gentle and kind to yourself. I am very sorry for your loss and that people are mean to you. People can be thoughtless, selfish and cruel. It is good that you are aware of the half story you are telling yourself. We mourn for what we believed was love but loves is not supposed to hurt us. It is terribly painful to be aware of how much abuse and suffering is happening all the time. I am sorry that your children seem to prefer the company of your sister. Hopefully, that will change someday. Family often do not know how best to support us. Concentrate on taking care of yourself, especially when you are fragile. Do not give up. You are doing a great job!!

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