You know.... I think that those of us to choose to move forw

You know.... I think that those of us to choose to move forward- if it’s with a partner who owns responsibility and shows consistent reliability over time.., it can work. But- ‘forgiveness’ isn’t a real thing. We can understand and have company, but there will always be pain.

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Leahzan's picture
(17730)
Nov 30

@devastatedinptbo realizing that their decisions are a reflection about how they think about themselves has been so liberating. I've talked with my daughter at length that her dad's decisions (past and current) are more a reflection on how he feels about himself and not how he feels about me or her. And, that I hope someday he thinks he is worth more and able to give more than the meaningless relationships he is seeking. And, that she is worth more and should demand more from her own relationships, and that I am worth more and will demand more from any future relationships. These have been empowering conversations to have with her.

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FreeWill2Go's picture
(1815)
Dec 11

@Hixyz I can see how forgetting or wiping the slate clean is completely off the table. The real question is, if the pain is still there, will that marital infidelity resurface during a heated argument or discussion and create a rift in your relationship?

Perhaps, after more time has elapsed, and after the two of you have made many new and happy memories together, that pain will be replaced with something wonderful.

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(80)
Dec 11

I agree with this. Its taken me going down the same rabbit hole a few times to get to that point. But I agree.

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