What is it about me that makes me feel so powerless? Pretty

What is it about me that makes me feel so powerless? Pretty much everyone who knows the specifics of my situation feels like I am entirely justified in giving my wife an ultimatum about finding a new job. But I just can't seem to do it.

An ultimatum isn't really my first choice, but she refuses to see how bad this situation is for me. And the fact that she was back to trading emails with him makes me feel like she has little to no regard for how I feel, or how badly her involvement with him hurt me. I know she figured she would never get caught because they were on her work server. But her "playing dumb" like she didn't understand the parameters of our agreement is infuriating. Frankly, it's just plain SELFISH behavior.

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Man, that is absolutely spot on. I hope she'll try to keep an open mind and watch it.


Since she sent the email, she has been kind of distant. The first week was the worst. She's a little less cold now, and we seem to be talking more. But we aren't talking about "it"....

and there has been a noticeable lack of physical affection. I don't just mean sex... just not much holding hands, or whatever. We kiss goodbye in the morning... but that seems to be about it. even when I reach over to hold her hand, she barely responds.

She had a hysterectomy a few months ago, so she has been still healing. It's not even sex that I'm necessarily expecting.

I think she is either angry at me for asking her to send the email, or she is somewhat mourning the loss of the friendship. When she is distant like this, I tend to go right back to the early stages of the affair, and I start imagining/assuming all kinds of bad stuff. I just need her to talk to me.

I have a one on one session with our counselor next week, and then we have counseling together toward the end of April. Assuming things haven't totally unraveled by then, I am going to ask her to watch the youtube video posted earlier about cutting off contact with the AP and why it's impossible to heal if she is still in contact.

This was supposed to feel like progress, but it's really been a rough couple of weeks.

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Apr 1

@jamiemaddrox2020 It was just over two years ago that my wife had an affair with a co worker. We did an in house seperation while she mourned the loss of the extra marital relationship this too was painfull for me but it was a neccessary part of her healing and us moving forward. I'm not going to lie we still have ups and downs and there is still things that trigger memories for me but they are growing ever more fewer and farer between.


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