Well I went a full 5 days without crying and it all got mess

Well I went a full 5 days without crying and it all got messed up tonight. I fell asleep on the couch out of exhaustion. I don't sleep well after Dday. I don't think any of us do honestly. I was reading all the post tonight and it seems like a lot of people have the same issue with their loved one. They sleep peacefully and contently while we are haunted by what happened and our thoughts. I don't know about anyone else but my thoughts run wild at night with everything. They go from what happened, is it still happened, will it happen again, does he care, will he stay, why would he do this does he still love me, ect. I don't understand why he snapped on me I think I might have caught him in a anger at himself and he just lashed out at me. I asked him what I did wrong and he raised his voice and said it's because I wouldn't leave him be. Keep in mind I've been sleeping on the couch for the past 3ish hours so he was left alone....to his thoughts and his emotions. I don't think he handled that alone time very well. Why do our loved ones lash out? Don't they know we already hurt and we are going through a lot right now? Can they really not see the bags under our eyes? The weight loss, the lack of appetite, the fake smile we put on our face for our children? There's no way they don't see this and how do they sleep at night when they see their significant other suffering like this bey of them? Sorry I'm in a low place and this sucks because I was getting myself out of this misery whole a little each day and I feel like I was shoved back into it.

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John99's picture
Jun 14

I understand and I am so sorry. Just focus on you for now. If you truly are at rock bottom there is no place to go but up. Hang in there

Kas1966's picture
Jun 14

@chas188 I think it's a equation based on your posts and comments.

CKBlossom's picture
Jun 15

@chas188 You get points every time you post, support, and comment. They really don't mean anything other than showing your activity on the site.

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