Ugh...I have to find a way to stop thinking about her. It dr

[13975]

Ugh...I have to find a way to stop thinking about her. It drives me crazy I have allowed her to continue to cause me so much pain. I just don't know what to do to let her go. I don't want to keep giving my h a reason to think about her at all, he says he doesn't want to, as it reminds him of how disgusted he is with himself, but my anger towards her is overwhelming this week. How have others stopped obsessing?

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StepbyStep2016's picture
[37145]
Oct 12

I found that forgiving him was the most helpful thing I ever did, I never told him but in my mind I have him down as someone who messed up. I now hope he learnt something and became a better person. The real advantage for me is that I hope that is the case as I don't bother to look into where he is. He is the past and I don't want to ever be there

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Kas1966's picture
[14520]
Oct 12

@devastedinptbo I haven't right there with you

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[8940]
Oct 13

Let it all out express your anger in hurt. But as your marriage heals and you have found forgiveness. Than no longer bring up the ow name . Remember she is not welcome in your home. I also wrote in journal expressing my anger toward my husband and ow, but I also wrote positive and encouraging things to make myself heal physically, mentally, spiritually, socially and emotionally. Your husband needs to be remorseful, sorry and regretful for what he has done. He needs to answer all and any questions you have truthfully and honestly even though they may hurt. All any kinds of communication need to be completely cut off with the ow. You should also have all his passwords to all his accounts. Your husband also needs to realize that you're not going to trust him ever again the way it was before. I said this before trust is like breaking a glass once the pieces are glued back together the glass is not how it was before. The glass was smooth before it broke now that it's glued back together there are cracks in the glass and our husband did this to themselves they lost our 100% trust in them.

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