This week's Brilliant New Topic: It is Thanksgiving next week y'all, where has the year gone???
November 19th, 2020

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Today is going to be rough. I had to cry myself to sleep las

Today is going to be rough. I had to cry myself to sleep last night, not because of emotional pain but bc of the immense pain from pregnancy. I used to be able to find comfort that my husband was next to me during these times but now we sleep apart. When I finally fell asleep I had a nightmare that felt so real . I’ve had many nightmares, mostly involving his abuse and others about her. In this dream we were in our room and I asked if she told him she loved him and he said yes and that he says I love you too. It felt so real . He let me hug him this morning and gave me a kiss goodbye which I was so thankful for. Today is hard , men and women are definitely different. I would much rather he had drunk sex than talking to her everyday and having feelings.

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[955]
Nov 23

@devastatedinptbo things are very complicated. The first pregnancy was definitely due to being in the midst of trauma and control. We talked about having a fourth so our third wouldn’t be alone but after a miscarriage and the state of our marriage I shut it down . However we have been together since we were fifteen and sixteen and can’t let each other go. My husband had a terrible childhood and me and our family was the best thing that ever happened to him, the most consistency he ever had. He didn’t/ doesn’t want a broken family and I took that from him when I had an affair. Anyway, we didn’t plan the fourth, pretty sure God had another plan than me. He has not forgiven me, will not or cannot let go but also loves me and can’t break up our family either especially now with 2 more children. He is involved with another woman, but won’t admit to anything. I don’t think he tells her he loves her, that was a nightmare. I do think she loves him. I don’t know what kind of woman is ok with being with a man whose wife is 9 months pregnant.

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[87915]
Nov 24

@llovesj well I’m sure a lot of his anger, while directed at you, is actually at himself for being such a hypocrite and cheating on his pregnant wife. He can only compartmentalize everything for so long before all the lids on his boxes come flying off and he has to face the reality of his own choices. I hope it works out for you. Finding excuses or justifications for him isn’t the answer however... everyone’s relationships are complicated. Part of being an adult is understanding that and dealing with the complications in a way that aligns with your own personal moral values. Doesn’t sound like he is doing that.

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[3385]
Nov 24

@llovesj that sounds extremely painful...does a cool cloth help? Could it possibly be shingles?

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